Episode 17: Realisations

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For once the new person isn't all over Harry and doesn't cause any drama between them and Louis lives for it. The person that has arrived is a guy named Luke and if Louis is really honest, he would have loved to go on a date with him if it weren't for Harry. The guy is hot. Louis is happy though because Luke has asked out Eleanor out for a date and he can see the two of them together, see it actually work between them and who is Louis to get in between love? Luke would have been a great fuck at home but here he doesn't have the same needs. He has Harry and that makes him feel comfortable. It also brings back feelings that he hasn't have had in a while, but that's something Louis is still ignoring and he likes to keep it that way.

"You're thinking." Harry looks up at Louis, fingers tickling over Louis' bare chest. "You're just staring into the air.

"Mmm..." Louis hums. "It's nothing."

"Be open with me." Harry turns around and leans on his elbows so he can look straight into Louis' eyes.

"What would you like to know then?" Louis turns on his side as well so he has a better look on the younger boy. Luke is hot but Harry is drop dead gorgeous.

"Why don't you believe in love?" Louis really should have seen that coming. Harry is obsessed with love, doesn't talk about anything else. It's strange how the two of them work so well together because honestly Louis is the complete opposite.

Louis likes junkfood, Harry is addicted to fruit.

Louis is lazy and just wants to chill, Harry enjoys activities.

Louis doesn't believe in love and Harry's literally living for it.

"Louis!" Harry waves in front of Louis' face and the boy gets pulled out of his trance.

"Sorry, love." He apologises. "It's just – The story hurts."

"I'm not afraid to kill, Lou. Say their name and I will go look for them back home and kill them."

A giggle leaves Louis' mouth and he shakes his head.

"You wouldn't survive a day in prison, pretty boy."

"As long as I don't drop the soap, I'll be fine. Don't try to change the subject by the way. I know you. If you don't want to tell me you don't have to, but you can trust me."

Louis leans in and captures Harry's lips. They kiss shortly and every single time Louis forgets more and more that they are not actually together.

Harry is looking for his soulmate, Louis. It's not you. Get him out of your head you idiot.

"I was together with this guy. I was only nineteen, he was twenty five. We met at a college party."

Harry nods, showing Louis that he is listening and has his undivided attention.

"I was just recently out to my family and friends and I had never dated a guy before. He was older, and it was very exciting to me. We got together pretty quickly and things got serious way too fast. I felt like, because he was older, that I had to forget about my own youth as well. I didn't go to parties anymore and just stayed at home with him. He was only at that party to pick up a friend. I didn't mind at the time because I loved spending time with him, I loved him."

"What happened?"

"He started to claim me. When I wanted to go out with my friends, he refused. He told me to stay with him, that when he's off from work he wanted to have me with him. He worked at a law firm and his job was pretty busy, or so I thought. After one year he proposed to me, wanted to get married so we could look together into adoption. I was so stupid, young, naïve and in love that I just did every single thing he asked me to. Until I found out that he only wanted to adopt a kid so I-"

"So you what, Lou?"

"So I wouldn't leave him if I'd find out about his affair with one of the lawyer, so I'd be trapped."

"Fuck... Louis, I-" Harry pulls Louis into his arms and plants a kiss on his forehead.

"I'm okay. I'm over it, really. It's not like it's still difficult for me, it just has taken away my believe in love."

"You can't let him rob you from that, Lou." Harry says. "He's an asshole, but that doesn't mean there is nobody on this planet that can actually love you with all their heart, that there isn't anyone that you can love."

"I don't know." Louis confesses. "I don't know if I still want to. I feel like I have been through all stages of love already."

"Happy ending is a stage, one you deserve, and you haven't lived that one yet. I get now why you like to be free, but Louis, he can't turn you into a bee okay? Not if there is a flower for you somewhere."

Harry looks into Louis' soul, the way his eyes are piercing through Louis'.

"H... You are the most amazing human on earth. I believe that your prince or princess charming is waiting for you. Mine is stuck in a tree somewhere." Louis tries to joke about the situation, something he always does when he wants to hide his feelings.

"Take a ladder and get them out."

"What about you?" Louis wants to change the subject. "Any remarkable past relationships I need to know about as your new bestie?"

"I think none of my exes actually loved me, just liked me for my looks or because they needed something from me. It sucks. I want someone who sees me, gets me, wants me for me."

"You'll find that. You're awesome." Louis plays with Harry's curls. "I really like you for you."

"Thanks, Lou. You are the best friend I could have wished for over here." Harry puts his head on louis' naked chest and immediately Louis strokes his hair.

And it's that moment that Louis realises.

Realises that he said that last thing, not as a friend.

Because Harry calling him a friend doesn't sound nice anymore, it's annoying. The image of Harry with his exes drives Louis crazy. He should have known this would happen from the moment Louis saw Harry falling in the middle of the street from the jeep, when he told him not to fall again.

Harry didn't fall.

Louis did.

He has feelings for Harry and Louis has no idea how to turn that shit off, because Harry clearly doesn't like Louis like that

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