Piece by Piece

Chapter 17

Aliena (15 years ago)

Daddy's angry. He's walking back and forth in the small kitchen, speaking to himself like he sometimes does. I can't hear what he's saying and that's okay. The words aren't for me. They are because of me, because I made a mistake. But they aren't for me to hear.

One day when he spoke to himself, I waited until he calmed down and asked him if he was praying. We aren't the type of family that prays before dinner and we never go to church but whenever daddy is very restless, he talks under his breath and keeps looking up or closing his eyes. It looks like he's praying.

That day, he had smiled at me and ruffled my hair like he knows I hate. He makes some strands stand out in all the wrong ways. Then, he had told me, "Something like that, Princess."

I hadn't been happy with that reply because I didn't know what it meant but I didn't keep asking. He had just called me princess, a nickname he used to give me a lot more when I was younger and mommy was still feeling better. I didn't want to make him take it back when he got mad.

Sometimes when I ask too many questions- like why mommy is sick and always sleeping- he gets angry and tells me to shut up. I don't like making him angry but I never understand what exactly makes it happen. I think it's worse when mommy is around, though. At those times, it's best for me to just stay quiet.

Today, I didn't say anything to make him angry. I did something.

I was home alone with mommy like I always am when daddy's working, but she was asleep and I got bored. I took her phone and started playing with it. Then I asked YouTube what to do on my seventh birthday and it showed me how to make an easy cake.

It only took a few ingredients and I found most of them at home so I tried it. I preheated the oven and mixed everything the way I was told. When I finally put the pan into the oven, I knew it was almost time for daddy to come home.

I was so excited to show him what I made.

While the small cake was baking, I made the dishes to make sure everything was clean before daddy came home. Right when I was done and about to check if my cake was done, my mother called out to me from the couch.

Her voice was croaky, like that of a frog queen, and I quickly went to her. "I need water," she told me without focusing on my eyes. I turned around without replying, running to get her what she needed. Daddy had told me I always have to help mommy as quickly as I can. He had said it was very important.

"Here you go," I told her, leading the full glass to her lips. She tried to swallow it where she was lying, keeping her eyes closed, and when the liquid went down the wrong pipe, she coughed it back up and it splashed right in my face.

My body flinched away and I accidentally let go of the glass, making it fall to the floor and shatter into many pieces. For a second, all I could do was look at the mess I'd made, and my heart started beating painfully in my chest. It always does that when I make a mistake. It feels like someone is stacking weights on top of it and it becomes hard to breathe.

I wiped the spit away from my face with the sleeve of my favorite sweatshirt. Then, I looked at the clock hanging on the wall and even more weights fell onto my heart. Daddy was about to be home any minute.

I quickly scrambled forward and gathered as many broken pieces in my hands as possible. I threw them into the nearest trash can and went back to the couch until I saw no more glass on the floor. I grabbed a rag and started wiping the floor so that it was dry and daddy didn't have to see that I made a mess in the first place.

I just threw the rag away when daddy came home. I ran toward him, happy to finally have someone to celebrate with, but he already looked weird when I reached him. His head was turned up and he was sniffing the air. His eyebrows turned down in the middle and then, he finally looked at me.

"What's that smell, Aliena? What did you do?" he asked. I didn't immediately understand, but then I noticed the burned smell in the air.

I'm not sure if my heart kept beating at all and my head grew light and dizzy as I ran into the kitchen. I opened the oven and a cloud of black smoke blew in my face. Daddy was right behind me and coughed.

I reached inside the oven blindly because I wanted to take a look at my cake, but I forgot that the oven was still hot. My hands clasped around the small dish, and I instantly cried out and pulled them out again, clutching them to my chest.

Daddy said a bad word and I heard him turn on the faucet. He picked me up, placed me on top of the kitchen counter, and pulled both of my hands under the cold water. That made my burns hurt even more but when I tried to pull them away, daddy held them in place.

"Keep them there," he ordered. Then, he grabbed a towel and took the burned cake out of the oven. He gave it a long look, then shook his head as if he was disappointed in it and threw it into the trash. Along with the dish.

I was glad I was already crying because I would've started then if I hadn't already.

That's when daddy started pacing he hasn't stopped. I'm still sitting on the counter, keeping my hands under the cool water as I watch him walk back and forth. I'm still crying, scared of what he might say. I don't want him to yell at me. I really didn't mean to make a mess. I just wanted a birthday cake.

When daddy finally walks over to where I'm sitting and reaches out, he does so to cradle my face gently. Not to punish me. I hold very still as he looks at me and try to stop crying.

In the end, he sighs and leans down to give my forehead a long kiss. "Happy birthday, Princess," he whispers. I cry a little more when he pulls away and I see that he has tears in his eyes too. If there's one thing worse than making daddy angry, it's making daddy sad.

I want to apologize, but I can't speak. My throat is hurting and closed off completely. I can't say a word.

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Any thoughts? Personally, I love this chapter

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