The Sinfully Wedded

Chapter 20

Jasmine's POV...

This place is enormous.

Jordan and Callum have girlfriends, I think. These two girls greeted us when we came into the house. I tried my best not to look as if Julian hadn't groped me at the front door just moments prior. I think I did a good job, it didn't look like they had suspected anything.

Everyone seemed really kind. Callum's driver, Rocko, brought all our bags inside and took them to whichever rooms we were staying in. Kara and Nia, the two girls, brought us a big, yummy brunch. 

Earlier, Sinn had reached his hand out, probably sensing my nervousness. We were in a new place with new people and on top of that, I had to keep looking over my shoulder, waiting for Julian to pounce. 

I didn't want to be touched. But I wanted Sinn. His touch comforted me as much as it made me feel disgusted. The comfort beat disgust this time and I gave him my pinky to hold. It was just enough to calm my nerves and settle him down. 

I can tell how much I've hurt him, it hurts me more but I don't know what else to do. Julian said he won't believe me, he said this wouldn't be happening to me if I didn't deserve it and that if Sinn really cared, he'd already know and Julian would be shot dead.

But it's happening and everything Julian said has added up. It makes sense. Maybe I deserve it and sometimes, a person is put on earth to receive nothing but pain. 

After eating, we were all led to the rooms we were staying in. I had to stay with Sinn which worried me. But I brought my sleeping pills that I've been using so if I just took a couple more tablets, I wouldn't wake up from a nightmare and startle him or anybody else in the house.

"How's married life treating you, sweetheart?" Jordan asked me as he walked with me and Sinn. 

I smiled hesitantly, "good." 

"Sinn's treating you good, right?" He joked.

"Fuck off, Cash," Sinn muttered.

I gulped, my breathing slightly more erratic, "he's great." Neither of them noticed. These small changes, my breathing, heartbeat, sweating and shaking were all so tiny and subtle that they were easy to hide. But they'd become constant. Any words said or actions done toward me would trigger it.

I didn't like being touched. But slowly, I started to despise being talked to as well. I just wanted to be in silence, alone with my thoughts.

Very violent, scary, horrible thoughts. Memories.

We'd finally gotten to the room and Jordan left. I pulled the sleeves of my grey sweatshirt on top of my hands to cover them and crawled onto the bed, laying on top of the pillow and looking out the windows on the side wall with my back facing Sinn.

I felt him sit on the bed behind me but he luckily didn't say a word. We both sat in silence. With his presence behind me, a small layer of peace covered my mind. My eyes grew heavy, causing my view to blur before slowly darkening.

 ..

My body jerked awake as a heavy weight fell against me. I gasped, my heart racing from being woken up so suddenly and the fear of seeing who had fallen on top of me so aggressively. 

"Princess," Julian mocked, "where's your dear husband, hm?" 

I looked beside me to see that the room was empty. Sinn had left and I had made the stupid decision to think that I could let my guard down and fall asleep. My body shook underneath his as he shoved his hand into my sweatpants and cupped me.

No.

Tears fell out of my eyes as I tried pushing him away. He took my hands in his and slammed them up against the bed frame, eliciting a pained shriek from me as he crushed my wrists. I moved my body as much as I could, wanting him to get scared and give up. With all these people in the house, he could expose himself so easily but he didn't care.