The European Enigma (LSD, #9)

20. The Icelandic Invasion

The Icelandic Invasion

"In England, they do it the English way. In Finland, they do it the Finnish way. In Switzerland, they do it the Swiss way. In Holland, they do it the Dutch way. And in Iceland, we do it the Icelandic way. You see, even in the grammatical way, every 'land' has its own-ish way of solving the same problem."

Yrsa Sigurdarsdóttir smiled reassuringly. It was Saturday morning. It was a moment to drink coffee with your friend on a sunny terrace in Reykjavik. It was not a moment to worry about problems.

Her friend, Audur Ava Olavsdóttir, did not agree. She worried: "I don't want our President to solve the problem. I don't want to have the problem. Why can't we go on like we used to? Thirty years ago, nobody spoke about illegal aliens. And now? The newspapers and the TV don't talk about anything else."

With a gentle hand, Yrsa gestured two more coffees to the bartender. She lit up a cigarette and answered: "We'll solve it, like every other problem. That's what we, Icelandic people, do. Thirty years ago, we had an oil crisis, and we solved that. Seventy years ago, we had a Second World War, and we solved that. One hundred and fifty years ago, we had slavery, and we solved that."

"That was long ago, Yrsa. People used to solve problems in those days. But now? We have global warming, we have pollution, we have a world population that doubles in every generation, we have wars and poverty and economic slavery... All we do is watch it on TV every day, so we can worry about it, but nobody solves anything."

Yrsa had no intention of losing her optimism: "Global warming isn't a problem; it's an opportunity. Do you know how many tourists spend their summer holidays on the sunny coasts of southern Europe? In a few years, Spain and Greece will be too hot to live in, so everybody will book a trip to the sunny beaches of Iceland and spend their money here. Global warming will make us rich. You shouldn't worry too much. Worrying doesn't solve anything. It only makes you feel bad."

Audur Ava had no idea how to stop worrying: "You see? We were talking about the problem of illegal aliens and not one minute later, you foresee how the rest of Europe will invade our little country every summer. I don't want so many people around here, Yrsa. If I wanted to live in a crowded jungle, I would move to New York where 10 million people live up and under each other. Not for a million dollars would I even visit that country."

Yrsa didn't see the problem; all she saw was the opportunity: "Those Americans had the same problem as we have, illegal aliens invading the country from everywhere, but they have a President who knows how to keep them out: they're building a wall and then the problem is solved."

The bartender brought two cups of fresh coffee. Yrsa paid and gave him a kind smile for a tip.

Audur Ava wasn't finished yet: "A wall stops the alien invasion over land, but they can still invade by sea or by air. It's no solution at all."

"It's a first step, dear. Every solution starts with a first step. When that wall is finished, they will start to fill their coastline with an iron curtain of fences, watchtowers and electric wires. If that works well, they will start to build a large roof of unbreakable glass over their heads. And I'm sure they've also thought of something to stop those aliens from entering via underground tunnels. It will need some time, but when it's all finished, it will work splendidly.

» 5.000 years ago, the Chinese emperor built The Great Wall to protect his country against barbarians from the north and it's still working; 2.000 years ago, the Roman emperor built Hadrian's Wall against barbarians, and it's still there, and now also the American emperor builds a wall to solve the barbarian problem of poverty that invades his country."