Extra: The Luxemburgish Luxury
"My mission was a success, Prime Minister. Thanks to my initiatives and my leadership, Luxembourg is pulling all the strings in Europe now. We are the dominant country in the world. If you want something, anything, you name it and I'll make it happen."
The Prime Minister smiled, but he had enough political experience to not believe any spoken word. He wanted proof: "Will Luxembourg win the Champions League?"
"We have all the shares of PSG, we changed their official location to Luxembourg City (they keep playing in Paris until you open their new mega-stadium here), we arranged that Luxembourg, like Monaco, plays in the French League 1, and we convinced the English and Spanish teams to play in the FACK, the Football Atlantic Champions Kompetition. Do you want a better chance?"
"Will Luxembourg win the next Football World Cup?"
"We regret Mister Bladder retired (we had him in our pocket, with all his black money and his transactions to buy votes via our secret bank accounts), but his successor, Mister Intestino, is learning fast. We'll have to wait until Qatar 2022 to answer your question, but it will be a «yes» without any doubt.", #1, The Boss, answered.
"If I ask Miss Merkel to marry me, will she accept?"
The Boss couldn't avoid a naughty grin: "Prime Minister... Can any woman resist such a tempting offer from the most powerful man in the world, who's also handsome and filthy rich? I anticipate her initiative to upgrade Germany to a province in the Great Luxembourg Empire within a year, just after we've bought France, Italy and Spain."
"And how about Washington?"
"I have Washington in my pocket."
The Prime Minister nodded: "I'm impressed. You did a great job. I will see if I can find some space in our budget to give you a raise and a bonus. Is there anything else you would like?"
The Boss hesitated. There was something else, but it was a rather impolite question. He cut the knot: above all, he was a spy; it was his work to get information. All he had to do was ask.
"There is something I would like to know. I hope you understand I don't ask this out of curiosity. Looking ahead is just part of my job, preparing upcoming missions. My question is: why did you want all this influence? Now you're pulling all the strings on Earth, what are you going to do with the luxury of all that power?"
The Prime Minister looked surprised: "I see. What's bothering you is the nature of my game. Isn't that obvious? I want to extend my influence to the Solar System, and then to the Galaxy, and then to the Universe. Why should I be satisfied? The world is not enough, my friend. The world is just the start. It's nice if I can dominate the price of coffee or sugar on the world market by pressing a button, it's funny if I can create a financial crisis or an oil crisis whenever I want, it's entertaining if I can replace governments in democratic countries when I see it is a time for a change, it's hilarious that people still think they have freedom of speech when I decide on a sunny afternoon what programs they will see on TV for the next decade, but politics means looking ahead, and the biggest threat to our planet is an invasion of illegal aliens from out of space. We have to be prepared. The best defence is an offence. We're not done, my friend. We've just started. Why did I give orders to expand the European Space Travel program? So I can run away when humanity destroys Earth, ten years from now? HA! I have better plans. We're going to plant the Luxembourg flag on the black hole in the centre of our galaxy, with warp speed. I'll be the Cosmosboss."
The Boss was relieved; he wouldn't lose his job now all his goals were achieved: "That's what I hoped to hear, Mister President. Of course, you can count on me, and my people, and all the tax money we can lay our hands on, to make your dreams come true."
Playlist:
Albania: "Do You Close Your Eyes", by Rainbow
Andorra: "Taxman", by Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble
Armenia: "Livin' On A Prayer", by Bon Jovi
Belarus: "Separate Ways", by Journey + "You're In The Army Now", by Status Quo
Belgium: "Highway To Hell", by AC/DC + "Are You Gonna Go My Way", by Lenny Kravitz + "Bluesette", by Jean 'Toots' Thielemans
Bosnia and Herzegovina: "The Birds and the Bees", by Jewel Akens
Bulgaria: "Money", by Pink Floyd
Croatia: "Always", by Bon Jovi
Cyprus: "Elected", by Alice Cooper
Czech Republic: Several songs, by Elvis Presley
Denmark: "I Can Make You Feel Good", by Shalamar
Dutchland: "Please Please Me", by The Beatles
England: "Radar Love", by Golden Earring
Estonia: "Gangsters", by The Specials
Faeroe Islands: "Hanging On The Telephone", by Blondie
Finland: "Money For Nothing", by Dire Straits
Germany: "Hotel California", by The Eagles
Greece: "Runnin' With The Devil", by Van Halen
Hungary: "Killer Queen", by Queen
Iceland: "Sing Hallelujah!", by Dr Alban
Ireland: "With A Little Help From My Friends", by Joe Cocker
Italy: "Like A Virgin", by Madonna
Kosovo: "Rock 'n' Roll Damnation", by AC/DC + "Shout to the Top", by The Style Council
Latvia: "The Tracks Of My Tears", by Smokey Robinson
Liechtenstein: "Get Ready For This", by 2 Unlimited
Lithuania: "Thriller", by Michael Jackson + "Nothing Else Matters", by Metallica
Macedonia: "Let Me Entertain You", by Queen + "Faith", by George Michael
Moldova: "Start Me Up", by The Rolling Stones + "Rapture", by Blondie
Monaco: "Another Day In Paradise", by Phil Collins
Montenegro: "Space Oddity", by David Bowie
Northern Ireland: "When I Fall In Love", by Nat King Cole
Norway: "Sultans Of Swing", by Dire Straits
Portugal: "What A Wonderful World", by Louis Armstrong
Romania: "Have You Ever Had It Blue", by The Style Council + "Little Lies", by Fleetwood Mac
Russia: "Down To The Waterline", by Dire Straits
San Marino: "Dancing In The Street", by Martha Reeves and the Vandellas + "Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick", by Ian Dury and The Blockheads
Scotland: "We Will Rock You", by Queen
Serbia: "Think!", by Aretha Franklin
Slovakia: "Smooth Operator", by Sade + "Live Wire", by AC/DC
Slovenia: "What's Going On", by Marvin Gaye + "The Wall", by Pink Floyd
Turkey: "Lust For Life", by Iggy Pop + "Come Back, Muddy", by Buddy Guy
Ukraine: "Wild Thing", by The Troggs
Vatican City: "We Don't Get Fooled Again", by The Who + "Eternal Flame", by The Bangles + "Our Solemn Hour", by Within Temptation
Wales: "Like A Prayer", by Madonna + "Lady Writer", by Dire Straits
Canada: "Ain't nobody", by Rufus and Chaka Khan
Luxembourg: "Sympathy For The Devil", by The Rolling Stones
Gibraltar: "Yes, I Do", by the J. Geils Band
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The European Enigma (LSD, #9)
الفكاهةThe best spy story; the worst spy. Keep the secret. Don't tell the world about this book! After seven adventures, lots of questions remain. How did the Secret Services of other countries react? What happened to the other members of the LSD? Do Rosto...
