The European Enigma (LSD, #9)

34. The Rumanian Rumour

The Rumanian Rumour

"What shall we do this time? Curls? Colour? Have you ever had it blue?"

Lady Marmalade threw an annoyed look through the mirror at the hairdresser's smiling face, to keep him out of her hair: "Leave the questions to me, Gigi. Limit yourself to giving the answers. Let's skip the chit-chat and start with serious gossip. Who's going to present the Eurovision Song Contest this year?"

"They say it's going to be Nadia Comaneci. Some say Sebastian Stan will flank her, but other (more reliable) sources mention VladTeeVee."

"Who will be our candidate for the presidency of the European Union?"

"I've heard Alice Peneaca is on top of the shortlist. Both Sandra Romain and Black Angelika still have a good chance to overtake her, although..."

Lady Marmalade lifted her right eyebrow half a centimetre: "Although what?"

Gigi hesitated, looked around, bent forward and whispered in her ear: "Although all my sources agree that, whoever our candidate will be, she will stand no chance in the final elections. The candidate from Luxembourg will get over two-thirds of the votes."

"Hm."

The hairdresser didn't turn a hair: "Do you also have something for me?"

Lady Marmalade looked at herself in the mirror, with satisfaction; Gigi had done a great job today. He deserved a reward: "You didn't hear it from me, but Ilie Nastase will return to the tennis courts. This summer, he'll play Roland Garros and Wimbledon, to prepare for the final crown on his career..."

Curious as a cat, Gigi froze. He didn't want to distract his Lady. Why didn't she go on? Well?

The left corner of her mouth lifted almost a centimetre, indicating the intense pleasure she felt when she let the cat out of the bag: "He's signed a contract with Sylvester Stallone to play in Rocky XXIII, where Rocky decides to give up boxing to become World Champion in tennis."

Gigi was flabbergasted: "Impossible. That's unheard of!"

"Oh, it's been done before. Beth Heiden started as World Champion in speed skating, then she became World Champion in cycling, and after that, she switched to cross-country skiing. Rocky going from boxing to tennis is quite a realistic scenario, according to Hollywood. In the opening scene, we see how Nastase plays with Rocky's balls, but in the final act, they play each other at the World Championship final, and Rocky wins in the third tie-break. These things happen all the time."

"I was referring to the World Championship. Tennis doesn't have a World Championship. They should change it into the Olympic tournament."

Lady Marmalade was amused: "Good thinking. I'll suggest it to my sources. It might get you a free entrance ticket for the premiere, perhaps even an invitation for the Oscar Night (I might have another appointment that day). But I have to go now. I have a busy day. I see you tomorrow, Gigi."

* * *

"Good morning, Lady. How are you today? Shall I bring you a cappuccino and a piece of homemade cheesecake?"

Lady Marmalade parked her voluptuous behind in her usual chair in the far corner of The Coffee Corner, grabbed the News Of Today and answered, distracted: "Leave the questions to me, Fabrizio. Limit yourself to giving the answers. I want a cappuccino, a double espresso, a café latte, a piece of homemade chocolate cake, two pieces of homemade cheesecake, two scones with cream, and a piece of that strawberry-lemon cake over there. Fruits favour my health and strawberry is splendid for my skin."

"Ah, you're going to have company."

"My company has to order for himself. Do you have any interesting information for me?"