The European Enigma (LSD, #9)

45. Acknowledgements: The Canadian Cover-artist

Acknowledgements: The Canadian Cover-artist

Mister White did his best to act relaxed, in control, to hold a dominant position at the table, but he knew it was an act; he and Mister Black were acting against every order of the CIA, endangering the future of their beloved United States of America. If the press found out about this super mega giga ultra top-secret meeting, the scandal it would instigate would be bigger than, we calculate, Watergate plus Iraqgate plus relegate.

The Russians, Sergey and Andrei, didn't care so much about what happened to their country; they feared for their own future. If Poetin would infiltrate, he would not hesitate. He would irritate, complicate, abrogate, isolate, obligate, and navigate them to the pole climate.

The Korean couple, Mister and Misses Lee, had the worst problem. Their leader, a heavyweight potentate, was a true fan of Josef Stalin. No, he would not mutilate, amputate, strangulate to suffocate, terminate or liquidate. That would be too kind. For the rest of their lives, his top agents would dedicate to penetrate, copulate, impregnate, procreate and masturbate. When Korean spies make a mistake, they're screwed like nobody else in this business.

With the stakes so high and the risks of discovery so prominent, there was only one location secure enough for the meeting: the roof of the five-star Prestigio International Hotel in Geneva, midnight, with a scrambler under the table to avoid eavesdropping.

Mister White started the negotiations with a warm smile of welcome: "We're happy to have you all together here around this little Japanese tea table, humble on our knees, to solve our national and international problems for the first time in history with words instead of guns. Talking about guns: I would like to see yours. I can't imagine anyone coming here unarmed. That's okay, we Americans don't go anywhere without our guns, and we hope you feel the same because it's important for us to dictate our violent culture of freedom and peacefulness to the rest of the world as long as they can afford it. But we do like to see the tools our competitors give their employees. In our country, people move from one company to another when they get a more exclusive car or a bigger aeroplane. Perhaps we would like to defect if you can impress us with the artillery your country's taxpayers provide you with. As they say: America first! We are proud to present our Smith & Wesson .500 Magnum revolvers, well known from our instruction video «Dirty Harry». They are explosive enough to blow out the brain of a Dutch banker from a distance of 100 yards." Both Americans laid their impressive revolvers on the tiny table, emptied them, and put the bullets into the teapot in the centre, as a sign of piece peace.

With an amused grin of superiority, Sergey took his Makarov out of his shoulder holster, added its 8 rounds to the teapot, and put the empty weapon on the table: "I didn't know Dutch bankers have a brain. The last time I shot one in the head, the bullet came out clean on the other side. Belgian bankers, on the other hand—"

Andrei slapped him on the back of his head: "Shut up, Sergey. We're not here to promote our latest hits."

Mister Lee grinned too: "Is that all you have?" He opened his dinner jacket to show his AK-47 machine gun, and then he opened his trousers and took out a Panzerfaust 60 rocket launcher.

Andrei laughed out loud: "They say size doesn't matter. Too bad, because in Russia, everything is BIG!" He stood up, took his PP-2000 out of his shoulder holster, showed the beautiful antique Nagant M1895 7-shot revolver he had in his ankle holster, as by magic emerged a 2018 Kalashnikov SVK sniper gun out of his sleeves, and finally, he took off his jacket to remove the RPG-29 Vampire antitank weapon he had strapped on his back. Mister Black, Mister White and Mister Lee were clearly impressed.

Misses Lee explained why female spies always will be the last man standing in armed conflicts. With an educated smile of female superiority, she opened her handbag, took out a small cylinder and put it on top of the ironware.