Half a heart

Chapter 36

Louis sat on the sofa in the living room with his head in his hands.

He's not sure which word describes him best at the moment.

Stupid?

Idiot?

Moron?

Dumbass?

Asshole?

All of the above?

He's pretty damn sure it's that last one. It's been exactly forty-five minutes since Harry left. Forty-five long minutes since Harry fled the house in tears because Louis is an idiot.

The words he spoke, or rather yelled, at Harry had been so far from the truth. He's never considered leaving Harry since they got back together. He's never wished he didn't ask him to marry him. And he certainly never regretted getting Harry pregnant, either time. It truly was everything just piling up on him and becoming too much. He should have taken that time off like Harry suggested - should have let Zayn and some of the others handle things for a week while he just relaxed. But no, he kept working despite Harry's suggestion and concern. And this is where it's gotten him.

His fiancé has just fled their home, sobbing, and gone who knows where. Louis' never felt so broken and lost and foolish and angry all at once. He's angry at himself for those things he screamed even entering his mind. He's broken because he doesn't know if he's going to be able to fix this. He's lost because Harry is his other half and he doesn't know what to do without him. And he feels foolish because how could he ever say that to Harry and expect something not to happen. How could he stand there and yell at the love of his life and make him cry and not think of what would happen afterwards?

Louis picked up his phone and unlocked it, going directly to Harry's number and dialling it. He decided to give him a little time to hopefully get somewhere and stop that way he's not answering his phone while driving in the rain and upset.

He pressed the phone to his ear and it rings. And rings. And rings. And then cuts to voice mail. The sound of Harry's voice makes Louis' eyes burn. When it beeps he starts talking.

"Harry, Harry baby please pick up.... please tell me where you are. I'm so sorry baby, please call me."

He hung up the phone and a few tears landed on the screen as he pulled it away from his ear. It's not even two minutes later that he's trying again. And it's the same things - ringing and then cutting to voice mail. So he leaves another message.

"Harry, darling, please answer your phone. I love you so much, I would never... what I said... I swear honey I didn't mean any of it. Please call me."

And three minutes later.

"Baby, please pick up. Please I need to know you're safe."

He leaves seven voice mails before deciding to call Anne. It's practically a suicide mission, calling Anne and telling her what happened. He deserves it though, he wouldn't blame her.

"Hello?" Anne answered on the second ring, her voice groggy as though she just woke up.

"Anne, it's Louis." Louis responded, his throat tightening.

"Louis? What's wrong? Has something happened?" Anne questioned, sounding more awake now.

"Yes." Louis choked out, now knowing Harry isn't there.

"What? Louis, tell me what's happening." Anne demanded and he let out a choked sob.

"I fucked up." Louis cried, he doesn't deserve to cry. "I fucked up so bad."