𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐑𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐩

invisible

AN : Hiiii! I hope you're all having a good day or night ❤️‍🩹 so in this chapter there will be some talks about mental health, depression, de realisation and eating / weight. If you ever need someone to talk to, please don't be afraid to message me, I don't care if you need to vent or just tell me about your day, I'll be happy to listen! It's okay too not feel okay, everyone does once in a while but it's not okay to not tell somebody.  I hope you enjoy reading <3
And please, don't listen to her though. Size does not effect prettiness or the amount people like you.❤️

We arrive home and I say hello to the boys, xander is yet to get home since he had a late court hearing, but Evan, Eli and rafe are at home.

"How was your day munchkin" Elliot asks, as I walk into the kitchen, rafes cooking.

You don't need food, you're fat enough already, I can't believe your brothers even love you.

"It was good, I got onto the cheer team!" I say excitedly.

"Ayyy well done bons!" Evan comes up from behind me and messes my hair, before kissing my forehead.

"Thankyou" I reply, kicking his shin which sent him back to the table doing course work.

"Congratulations bonnie, you're just so talented" Eli comes and hugs me, and yet again, kisses my forehead.

"I'm not talented, I just did well enough to be on the team" it's true, I'm not talented. I'm not special, nor talented. I'm just plain old dull me.

"oi, don't be silly! Of course you're talented, not many people can do backflips and handsprings and all those cool tricks you can do!" Rafe says, while cooking something on the stove.

"I guess" I smile sheepishly, not convinced that I'm 'talented'.

Yeah, you're talented at making your brothers lives miserable, oh and talented at eating.

I rub my stomach, feeling the fat and rolls beneath my clothing. I can't eat, I just can't.

The last time I ate was yesterday evening, but I must last longer, I need to lose weight.
I'm fat, no one will like me if I'm a whale, my brothers hate me. I know they do.

If I just stopped eating, they would like me right? I'd be skinny, I'd be pretty and liked and not just an annoying, fat sister that they don't want.

"Cmon babe, go have a shower before dinner" Elliot pushes me out of the way as Rafe comes past with a pot of boiling water.

"Okay okay, what are we having?" I question, hoping it'll be healthy, or low calorie.

"I am making spaghetti and meatballs" rafe calls over the sounds of the kitchen and his 4 youngest brothers playing some sort of game on the tv, while Elliot sets the table.

Spaghetti and Meatballs, how many calories is in the pasta? Or in the Meat? How much fat. Too much, I can't do this I can't eat. I just can't, I need to not eat.

If I just say I'm sick, I'll eat a tiny portion. Or I guess there's always throwing up.. no. I can't do that. I won't let myself do that. I'm just going to not eat, not starve myself just not eat. I'm not going to get an eating disorder, just going on a diet. Yes, a diet.