𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐑𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐩

attacked

I'm currently in year 11 (England) so I'm doing my gcse mock exams so I have been so stressed!! 😭 I've been soooo shit at uploading, I'm so so sorry! hope u enjoy this chapter, and trigger warnings will be down below like always! love j xxx

TW:
Disorderly eating:: bulimia, anorexia. Mentions of suicide, mental health and depression. + violence!!

please read at your own risk. x

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The rest of school passes by fairly quickly, and soon enough it's time to go home. I decided to message my brothers and let them know I'll be walking home after soccer practice so that I can burn some extra calories.

•
Bonnie

I'm gonna walk home after soccer if that's alr with u.

Alex

No, it'll be dark and dangerous, you'll be cold and tired too. The twins and Theo have to stay later anyways for their football practice, so we'll be picking them up anyways.

We'll see you at 5.
-A
•

Ugh. So much for burning some extra calories! It just means I'm going to have to work extra hard at practice today.

Walking to the changing rooms, I look out to the windows and watch the rain pour, cascading down the wide glass window panes.

Almost feeling a moment of rare satisfaction, the rare, unexplainable joy of the feeling that the rain brings, the nostalgia of the rain; watching the droplets race down the window on a long car journey.

The days where what I looked like, didn't matter. Where nothing was wrong with me, when my brothers liked me.

Struggling to shug off the continuous thoughts, I speed up my walk; eager to reach the changing rooms to change before any of the other girls can look at me.

•

After getting changed quickly, I grab my water and walk out the changing rooms, until I stop in my tracks after hearing my name called.

Oh crap, what if it's those girls, who are in the years above? They absolutely hate me, I think it's because I'm related to my brothers and they think I'm going to steal them from them? Like grow up. They're my brothers for fucks sake.

I turn around reluctantly only to see Valentina standing there, looking slightly out of breath.

"Hey... Bonnie!" She smiles, waving.

"Uhhh.. hi?" I question slightly, wondering why she's  madly out of breath and speaking to me.

That came out so rude. Yeah that's right Bon, push everyone away. It's not like she likes you anyway.

"Hi! You sped walk out of the changing room and I wanted to catch up with you while we walk to practice!" She cheerfully spoke, while walking up to me and linking our arms.

"Oh.. ahaha sorry" I say, feeling slightly embarrassed by my previous rude state.

"No worries! So how have you been?" She asks me as we push open the doors, the rain and bitter wind and cold hitting us like an artic breeze.

"Alright thanks, what about you?" I ask her, shivering and teeth chattering while we walk across the concrete to the fields, our cleats banging against the ground.

"I'm good... although oh my god the funniest thing happened in my home room today!" She giggles before telling me the story, in which I just listen in, occasionally accidentally zoning out into the mesmerising rain being guided by the wind.