𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐑𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐩

new normal

hello lovelies! Hope you're all having a wonderful day/night, let me know if you want to see anything happen in this book. Also I appreciate every single comment, read and vote on this book, Thankyou so much !! Down below this are the trigger warnings for the chapter, but other than that, enjoy reading! ★★

Tw: self harm, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, bulimia and starving. Please read at your own risk<3

★★

No sleep, not one wink. I've been tossing and turning all night, I can't relax, not even shut an eye. I think the times about 4 am, I can just remember the last time I checked it.

This feelings weird, I've got energy but none; does that make sense? Probably not.

Of course it doesn't make sense, you're a weirdo; a creep, just an anomaly who doesn't fit in.

I feel so tired to move any part of my body, it all aches, but my brain just won't stop working.

it's driving me insane.

Hopefully it'll convince you to kill yourself.

I turn again, towards the window, which is open, I'm pretty sure my window seat is wet from the rain getting swept in. Oh well, I feel so hot and I'm going to do everything I can to try and prevent that little 'panic attack' that happened last night.

Thinking about that I lift up my wrist to see a bruise, forming underneath the hairband; which I've been snapping continuously all night.

Great, just what I need.

I decide to get up and start my workout, might as well start the day in minus calories- right?

•

Once I did my workout, I had a shower and got changed for school, the days are starting to blur together but I can just about remember I have soccer practice today.

I can't be bothered to go, I just want to lie in bed and never get out of bed, heck I don't ever wanna wake up again.

Wait, what? Did I really just say that.. do I mean that?

Hopefully you do, we all wish you went to sleep and never woke up again.

Dragging myself downstairs, praying I missed breakfast which to my dismay I hadn't I go and take a seat at the dining table, saying hello to the few brothers sat there.

"Can you walk home from soccer practice tonight Bon? Rafe and I are at work, evan and Elliot are both studying late and the three younger ones are meeting up with friends, is that okay?" Alex asks me, I give him a reassuring *fake* smile.

"Yes that's fine, calm down Alex, I'm not a baby anymore. I can handle a 20 minute walk, plus I'll just listen to music anyways" I say, while the rest of my brothers take a seat, all except Rafe who I presume to be at work.

"Okay, are you sure?" He asks again, I huff and say yes.

After around 2 minutes of everyone getting there breakfast I decide to put a bit of eggs on my plate and one rasher of bacon, it's not like this will be staying for long.

I'm not proud of what I'm going to do, but it's the only way I can keep my brothers off my case and lose weight, I need to lose this weight.

Yeah, or you could just leave the world entirely.

It's hard to hide stuff from my brothers, when one is a lawyer, one is a doctor, one is training to be a therapist, one is training to be a police officer and the last 3 are just damn right nosey.