WILD THOUGHTS : BOOK 2

Chapter 38

"I messed up bad mama", said Tyquez as he laid his head on her shoulder. "I messed up bad, real bad."

His mom rubbed his back.

"My chest hurts", he said as he touched his chest.

"...you really love her huh?", asked his mom.

Tyquez nods.

"Sit up.", said his mom.

Tyquez sat up.

"I haven't seen you like this since your dad passed", said his mom. "Listen, you guys have a solid foundation, whatever happened can hopefully be fixed. You said you didn't cheat again so...hope for the best. Better yet, fight for the best"

Tyquez shook his head. "She's done mom", said Tyquez.

"How about I'll talk to her", said his mom.

"No. Then she'll think that I put you up to it", said Tyquez.

"So what do you want me to do?", asked his mom.

"I just came for advice or a shoulder to lean on. Mama I love this woman with all of me. She makes my days bright. She is my sun and my moon. She knows how to make me feel good, she knows how to handle business...I felt like God made us for each other and I don't know if this is a test or if this is the end", said Tyquez.

"What happened?", asked his mom.

"My trust is messed up", said Tyquez.

"I told you. Messing with a married woman will come back to bite you in the ass. Listen you knew she cheated on husband before things got serious between the two of you...you should've thought about trust two babies ago", said his mom.

"I trust her...I'm just cautious with her. Just like I'm cautious with you and everybody else. When you grow up in a household that keeps secrets, you tend to know how to prepare yourself for the worst. If my family can lie or keep things from me, what makes you think somebody else won't?", asked Tyquez.

"Quez...I understand that...you have every right to keep your guard up", said his mom. "I'm sure she does too and if that's the case, I don't understand why Jordan is so upset. What exactly happened? What lead to the break up."

"...I um...I got a paternity test on Marcus", Tyquez mumbled.

"Your twin. The boy that looks exactly like you? Tyquez what in the hell?", asked his mom.

"I told you, I messed up", said Tyquez. "Bad."

His mom shook her head.

"...you won't my advice..,don't fix it", said his mom.

Tyquez looks at her and makes a confused faced.

"Don't fix your relationship as couple...fix it as coparents and friends", said his mom. "...that isn't what you want, I know but...it's a start and maybe it can become something you both have always wanted."

"I don't understand", said Tyquez. "Mom I don't wanna be her friend...I wanna be husband but I need to know what I need to do to be better f—"

"Take my advice or leave it. That's all I got", said his mom. "I don't know when you got to the point where you think things are supposed to be handed to you without hard work or figuring it out yourself but you need to remember where you came from and who you came from. Mama is always right and mama is telling you to fix your relationship for the sake of hall coparenting and being friends, not as a couple. If you think you lost her, then you lost her. You should've thought about that before you did what you did. But if you don't wanna lose her forever then...build a healthy friendship with her."

Tyquez sighs.

"I don't feel good", said Tyquez.

"Baby you're just going through a bad heartbreak...you'll be fine eventually", said his mom.

"I don't like this feeling", said Tyquez.

"I know baby", said his mom.

Tyquez put his head on her shoulder again.

———

"Cheers to putting myself first", said Jordan.

"Girl please. You have been living large", said Mahogany. "You haven't had to babysit this one."

"Yeaa...but I've had to work my ass off to prove myself. Or at least try to but I failed", said Jordan as she rolled her eyes. "Trying to be this picture perfect family and really I was just trying to prove to myself that well...I can have good things in life. I can be all he needs and wants...I have really let myself go. Since high school I've been carrying myself for the validation of a man and not for myself. I didn't get that chance to explore myself after hakeem because I jumped into a relationship with Tyquez and tried to prove to myself and to him that I was loyal and trustworthy...I'm not. I cheated, I did the very thing that I wouldn't want anybody else to do to me, and I did it to hakeem and now I'm paying for it. Tyquez doesn't trust me. He never will and that's okay. But I'm tired of trying to prove myself to somebody else. I'm tired of putting the needs or others first when I'm falling apart inside because of it. With Hakeem, I neglected myself really bad, so bad that I was mentally exhausted..I took care of him more than myself. With Tyquez, we take care of each other but... to me I always felt like I had to work to prove myself to him and now I know that I do."

"You're right", said Mahogany.

"Me...my kids...they're my priorities", said Jordan.

Mahogany nods.

Jordan looks at Mahogany.

"You think I'm going overboard...over thinking or ...do you think—"

"It doesn't matter what I think. I don't have to live with the consequences. I'm on your side no matter what. You know that", said Mahogany. "...and Jordan if he loves you, he'll be there if you change your mind or when he makes you change your mind...not only that but you can start something fresh with somebody else."

"Is it bad to say I don't want anybody else...just him?", Jordan drinks the rest of her drink.

"No, it's bad. It just shows how much you've grown to love him", said Mahogany.

"Excuse me, can I get another round", said Jordan to the bartender.

"No. No more rounds", said Mahogany.

Jordan makes a face at mahogany.

"No more drinks", said Mahogany.

"Yes, another drink", said Jordan.

"Jordan, I said no. Drink some water or eat something but no more drinks", said Mahogany. "You're not going to take up this drinking habit when you're down."

"Fine", said Jordan.

"Thank you", said Mahogany.

TO BE CONTINUED...