Tired

29: Regret

March 1st

A few more months and it would be over. They would become pro hero's and leave UA. Todoroki thought he would be happy, excited even. But instead he was nervous and scared. He would leave all his friends. He told himself before UA, don't make friends. But he was stopped when Midoriya told him it was his quirk, not his fathers but his own. He is forever grateful for that, but it made them become friends somehow. Then he slowly made friends through the class, now he became attached to everyone. That's something he didn't want, he didn't want to get attach to anyone because he would go through the pain when they left.

It would be like when he was a kid. He loved his family (besides his father). He tried to protect his mother as much as he could. She did indeed love him back, the love that he received from her was nice. He grew attached to her, whenever he could have time, he would look for her around the house and stay with her. He grew attached and didn't want to leave her side. That was a mistake.
When she poured boiling water on his face, his father sent her to the mental hospital, away from Shoto. He didn't want that. He wanted his mother near him. He didn't like being without his mother. But his father told him to get over her and focus on his training.
That was when Todoroki knew not to get attached to anything or anyone.

Now years later, he's found himself attached to a specific blonde. He knew he shouldn't have but when Bakugo offered him a small place to live, he felt like he couldn't go anywhere without him. This made him feel secure that it was okay for him to get attached to the blonde.

Todoroki did however, got attached to his friends and he knows that he won't be able to see them often. It was a big mistake. He liked seeing, Iida, Uraraka, Asui, and Midoriya. Those were his closest friends. His first friends. He knew that he was gonna hurt when he found separate.

Todoroki sighed shakily. He rubbed his forehead, his head started to hurt. He sat in the common room, he can't be in his room at the moment. It felt too much like home. It was the afternoon and everyone was busy with assignment that was given to them today. He had already finished it within a few hours.

He took deep breaths, it would sometimes help with the headache that was growing. But it wasn't working because his head only started to pound and his eyes started to sting. He rubbed his eyes and laid down on his side on the couch, he covered his face with his hands.

What the fuck is with him? He has to keep himself together. He can't be crying out here in the common room. He can't be crying at all. He sighed as quietly as he could to calm himself down. He is so weak, he's tearing up for nothing. He's such a mistake, he should've-

"Yo," Todoroki immediately knew who's voice it was. His breath hitched but he tried to quiet himself. He looked up to see the blonde leaned over the couch. He tried to relax himself but by the way Bakugo's face soften ever so slightly, he wasn't doing a good job.
"You okay?" Bakugo asked, his voice softer and he walked around the couch the sit by the boy. Todoroki closed his eyes but he could still feel the crimson eyes peered through him. Todoroki could only nod his head.
"If you wanna talk about it you can, I'll listen." Bakugo reassured, he faltered for a moment before placing his hand on the boy's hair. Todoroki flinched and opened his eyes. He saw the blonde lean back in the couch with his own eyes closed. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes. This was nice. Bakugo combed his hand through his hair, his hair feeling so silky and smooth. It felt like a rich material, something so foreign to touch.

"Bakugo?" Todoroki whispered quietly, the blonde hummed in response.
"Have you ever regretted something?" Todoroki asked, his eyes still closed but he could feel the blonde open his and looked at him. It was silent for a bit, it was a strange question to ask. But Bakugo did know that from the question that Todoroki had done something to regret it. But the question was, what did Todoroki do?

"Hell yeah." Bakugo chuckled with no humor in it. Todoroki opened his eyes to look at the blonde.

"Do you mind me asking what it was?" Todoroki softly said. He was did not want Bakugo to tell him if he didn't want to. But it would help him get his mind off everything else. Bakugo sat quiet, Todoroki took that as a hint to drop it.

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why are you asking?" Bakugo looked down at him, he stopped combing his hair and stared straight into his eyes. Todoroki attempted to hold eye contact but it was too much, he looked away.
"What did you do?" Bakugo asked. Todoroki didn't answer. It was stupid. He felt movement and thought the blonde had left but then he opened his eyes to see the blonde lay down. His head upside from his point of view but next to Todoroki.

They laid down in silence. Bakugo's unanswered questions hung in the air. He knew Todoroki had done something otherwise he wouldn't have asked it, but what?
Todoroki stared at the ceiling while the blonde stuck glances at him. Todoroki hated this feeling. He hated this gut feeling that laid deep in his stomach that warned him of the end of the school year was coming and he would leave all his friends. Some of them going to different states. He was going to stay here while they went somewhere else. He was going to miss them. He made a huge mistake getting attached to them. Now he was going to deal with the sad feeling when they left.

Bakugo did regret a lot of things. Pretty much everything he did when he was in middle school and younger. He hated himself for bullying Deku, it was low now that be realized it. He still disliked the boy but he doesn't hate him, he just dislikes him a good amount.
He regrets getting kidnapped by the Lov. He hates himself for ending All Might. There was so many things that he did wrong in his life but he didn't know how to fix them. He just tried to get over it or pretend it doesn't exist.

The two sat in silence for the rest of the time.

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