Amara of Xeris

Chapter 30

Get over it already, Amara, it's been two days since the meeting. You did what you had to do, there's no helping it now. It's all over now. This dialogue kept repeating in Amara's head ever since that immoral act, like a ghost haunting her over and over again, every day. The curse of a sound conscience. That was a good thing, Amara supposed, that way Amara knew that deep inside she was not a monster but a person who still had her morals intact.

Besides, what had she done so wrong anyway? She wasn't the one who threatened civil disruption to make up for slight humiliation. That was the Ephedian Royalty, not her. It was the right thing to do, wasn't it? She tried her best, didn't she? So why did her soul keep punishing her this way? Maybe, it was what she deserved.

Every crime has to be punished and this was her punishment, her atonement, this hell. What should one do for some relief? Confide in someone? No, of course not, you wouldn't admit to such malpractice to anyone in here. So no one to confide in. Except for one man, the one who suggested this in the first place, Victor Aradis. Maybe, she would ask him a question that only came to her now, right after the deed was done.

So, Amara prepared a special ink in the middle of the night. One can hope that no one was awake right now. They would wonder what the Queen was doing, up at this hour or maybe they wouldn't question it at all. Who knows what others think? That wasn't a problem for now. All Amara wanted to do was write a letter to the Emperor of Othrera and let him take some of the guilt.

Maybe, it was unfair for Amara to think that. He didn't force her to go through with the idea, she did that herself out of her own volition, not him. He isn't the one to blame here, the only one at fault is her, Amara. Even with this realisation, Amara hastily wrote the letter to Victor as a secret message. Let him take some part of the guilt. Even if it was completely selfish for her to do so.

Dear Victor,

I went through with your plan. I used the charm speak at the Council Meeting and I successfully managed to delay the crackdowns. No one knows of my actions, not even my father. You could say that the plan went flawlessly. Unfortunately, I cannot say that. Not exactly.

These two days, ever since the Assembly, I have been haunted by my conscience and it's unbearable. Unbearable for me to handle it alone. So, please do me a favour and take some of this guilt and don't tell a soul about this. I know you will not, you're way wiser than I am. Please keep this affair a secret to your grave and tell me how many times have you done something like this.

You suggested this, so I want to know. How did you suggest manipulating the Council so readily, just like that? I don't mean it as an attack on your character. I really don't, I don't think I know enough about you and your past very well to judge that. But this is a question that I think I would like an answer to.

I hope this letter finds you in peace and in good times. You know what to do after reading this letter. I wish you have a great day later.

Yours Sincerely,

Amara

Then Amara cast the concealment spell, one of Othreran origin. She had to search her Palace Library for this because her father hadn't taught her that one. She had found it in a book of Historic Spells. Then, she hurriedly wrote another letter on the visible layer, one asking thanking Victor for listening to Amara's problem. Finally, she sealed it into an envelope and put it into her drawer to post it the next morning.

For the first time in two days, Amara had a good night's sleep that night. It felt good confiding to Victor. What Amara didn't realise was the fact that she hadn't left a reminder to break the spell as Victor had. Or, the fact that someone was awake that night and had noticed the sound of writing from Amara's room.