Ch 55: Worries, Wants, Needs, Fears, and Nerves

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A/N: BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS I NEED THEM LIKE KADEN NEEDS CALLA!

No crapy books and no recommending your own. if your books that good, I'm sure someone else will recommend it ;)

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Calla POV:

Okay deep breaths Calla. you haven't even gone very long without Kaden in bed with you. He's not going to rush your decision and you don't have to do anything. You have nothing to worry about its only dinner and both Gwen and Aldric are going to be there. you are not even going to be alone with him. Its not a date, no need to try to impress him. I glanced at myself in the mirror, the beautiful red lingerie fitting to my small waist and the flair of my hips like a glove, my breast on full display nearly spilling over the lacy cups that held them. yes because I am totally wearing this to avoid Kadens attention and avoid getting laid.

My hair had been left stick straight, falling past my shoulders and my makeup a smokey seductive work of art.

I was dressed to kill.

And I wasn't even sure I wanted to be.

My devil red stilettos caught my eye as I fastened my garters.

Kaden loved leaving me in nothing but a garter belt and stockings when he had his way with me. And I knew the lace stockings would drive him wild.

I touched the read bow on the top of the thigh highs, my french tips still glittering perfectly.

Sighing I shoved on my stelletos and marched out of the room before I could change my mind.

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Gwen nudged me for the fifth time during dinner.

I glanced at her, brows furrowing.

She gestured to me, rose a brow, winked, and then gave a thumbs up.

I couldn't help but blush, glancing at Kaden who I can honestly say hasn't gone two minutes without looking at me yet. I could see the lust burning in his eyes, and behind that the love I knew he held for me.

My heart tugged a bit as we locked eyes and instead of letting his gaze run back over my body, Kaden offered a small adoring smile.

I smiled back a bit, taking my bottom lip between my teeth as a shy somewhat unsure feeling washed over me.

I spent the remainder of our meal watching Kaden through my lashes.

He moved a lot like a wild cat, a predator.

memories of just how graceful his movements could be flashed through my mind.

...Kaden defiantly was a wild predator.

I saw him smirk a bit as the servants took our plates away, ending our meal.

Gwen was out of there with some excuse about needing to bathe. Aldric muttered something about needing to make a call and followed after.

Kaden and I were completely alone.

I licked my suddenly dry lips.

Kadens low rumbling voice broke through the still air, "Would you allow me to escort you to you room Calla?"

My lips parted in surprise. I nodded, "of course."

Walking through the hallways the only noise was the clicking on my stilettos.

It wasn't an awkward silence really, it was more of a cautious one.

I knew Kaden was worried about saying something to me less he damage the progress we had made and I was worried that is my opened my mouth the first thing I would do was invite him into my bedroom.

His cold hand brushed mine.

I felt a small pleasant shiver crawl up my spine, my body missing his touch, my mind missing the protected feeling his strong arms offered me.

My heart aching to be near him again.

Reaching the large cherrywood door of my designated bedroom we both stilled. I wasn't ready to leave yet, to go back in there and be alone.

Kaden broke the silence, "You look beautiful tonight love."

I blushed, "Thank you Kaden...are you...have you been busy?"

An elegant shrug rippled through his body, "No more than usual."

I nodded, "We are so making this awkward."

He grinned a bit, "that we are."

I glanced at my door, "would you umm...like to come in and have a drink? I stole some wine not too long ago."

He looked surprised but nodded following me inside, shutting the door with a soft click.

I could feel his eyes on me as I pulled out my smuggled wine and two crystal glasses. Opening to bottle I looked over my shoulder at him, "Its white...I know you prefer red I hope you don't mind."

He took the glass I offered, "Not at all."

I watched as he took his first sip, making himself at home in a blue velvet chair, "have you been well?"

He nodded, "you?"

I took a long drink of my own wine, "I have been better."

His look was that of worried curiosity.

Suddenly the floor seemed much ore interesting than his gaze, "I miss you Kaden, I miss falling asleep in your arms and waking up next to you, I miss your touch and your laugh...but I am so confused as to if I am ready or not."

"you do not need to rush yourself love."

"I know but it hurts not being near you."

I was pulled into strong arms.

I didn't even realize he had moved.

His fingers stroked my lower back lightly as he kissed the top of my head, "just tell me what worries you, what you want, what you need, what scares you, and what makes you nervous. Tell me and I'll fix it. Ill take away your worries, give you what you want, provide what you need, chase your fear away, and hold your small hand as you stepped through nerve wracking paths. I'll do anything for you baby, you don't need to feel alone it this."

I looked up at him, searching his eyes for anything other than genuine honesty and found nothing, "I'm worried I'll make a mistake and be hurt again, I want you next to me as I sleep again, I need to feel okay again, I'm terrified of the fact that I think I'm totally in love with you, and I'm nervous because I really want to kiss you right now but don't know if I should."

His smile was soft, genuine, "You're too smart to make such a mistake and I won't let anything hurt you not even myself, I will always hold you as you sleep so long as you want it even if its only because you might actually have those non existent night terrors, You will feel better thank just okay even if its the last thing I do, I love you too there is no need to be afraid." He took my hand tightly in his own and before I knew it he was kissing me.

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