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"Can you speak French?" I ask him.
"Yes. Can you?"
"A little. I know the basic stuff like oui, bonjour, croissant, baguette. Also, j'veux ton amour, et je veux ta revanche."
He stops in his tracks and looks at my mouth. No, he 𝘴𝘵�...
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I've always had a boring life.
Nothing very exciting.
I escaped reality in books, movies, tv shows and music, wishing I could live those characters' lives.
I know now that that is unrealistic, and it's best to stop dreaming. I would spend my days reading and spend my nights imagining myself living the way my favorite characters did.
It was unhealthy. And becoming an adult made me realize that.
My mom was never reliable. She couldn't look after herself let alone three kids. Our life was absolute shit. I love my mom, but it was driving me crazy living in a house that was never clean and had all the windows closed 24/7.
I needed to leave and moving to a place I felt like my heart belonged seemed like the best option.
I grew up with very little money. I wasn't insanely poor but I was something pretty damn close to it. It wasn't anyone's fault. Just how life was dealt.
I lived in Australia until I was eighteen. I moved to New York. It was a place I always felt drawn to. I didn't move alone. I moved with my cousin who needed out of the shithole we lived in as well. We now live in a shitty apartment but it's better than nothing. Life is okay. Nothing exciting. It's better than it was before.
My cousin, Frankie, got a job here working at a fashion label. She doesn't design anything, she mostly cleans and scrubs toilets, but she admires the staff doing the work. She wants to be a designer one day. She's only twenty-three. I think she can do it, but we're both high school dropouts so there wasn't really much for us to do.
As for me, I work at a quiet coffee shop. The boss is a lovely older man who lives with his husband in a nice area. His husband has retired and I think Lawrence will too. I'm dreading it.
I have other coworkers but they never really speak to me. I guess we're all just here to work.
School was an experience. My friends gave me severe trust issues. No one was ever close to me in the way you'd wish someone would be. I never had a best friend or a boyfriend. Moving to such a busy place resulted in me talking to a few guys. They'd flirt, ask me for my number, we'd hang out a couple times, then they'd have sex with me and never speak to me again. I've only been here a year but those few men made me not even want to bother anymore. They were all average anyway.
I can't really speak, though. I'm not the best looking girl in the world. I'm not skinny and I'm pretty sure that's the reason those guys left. One look at my body and then 'bye'. I try to cover myself up. My looks are boring. Nothing exciting. Straight brown hair that goes just past my shoulders. Dark green eyes. The eye bags are kind of atrocious. I don't know. I'm not confident. Um, at all.
My mind is always running. I'm quiet, though. I don't have friends. God, my life is so sad. I don't try anymore because that always results in disappointment.
