shyings; 2.07

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The boy's gifts were the main subject of conversation that day among the girl's friends. No matter how hard she attempted to change the topic or tried to think about something else; she was brought directly back to Rosy Cheeks (and their so called "unestablished relationship" as her friends called it.) All morning, this was all the girl heard:

"Hey, I didn't know you two were dating!"

"Oh my god. He didn't do that! That's SO adorable, how long have you been together now?"

"Wait.. I thought you rejected him?"

"Please just marry each other and reproduce."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute. Tell me exactly what happened."

All the questions brought a sudden fear to the girl. She had already been skeptical of being in a relatonship with someone, and now, with her apprehensions skyrocketing from constant attention, she was unsure of how well she'd be able to handle being with another person. Would it even work out? What if we didn't and I lost one of my closest friends? What if he ends up not liking the real me? What if someone better comes alone? What if, what if, what if... Her "what ifs" were as innumerable as the stars; yet only the smallest fraction of them would shine bright enough to be seen.

But she and her anxiety ridden mind didn't understand that.

So when the boy tried to talk to her later, during their portrait painting, she found herself avoiding tête-a-têtes with him at all costs. (No matter how upset she felt about it. She had even refused to look at the boy, afraid of seeing his confusion.)

She knew that it would be worse to feel the pain of loss later on (when she finally screwed things up like she always did), after the two had developed lasting memories together, than to watch him slip through her fingers now when they hadn't known each other for terribly long. Less wounds to keep from reopening at a later date. And wasn't she saving him from being tied down to a shy, isolated and nearly fragile girl by doing so anyway?

________

Bella's note: oops. Not my best but I didn't know how to write it.Though I found it necessary for Pale Eyes' character and to show the difficulties of those who struggle with anxiety :)

Tell me what you think? Any ideas of how the story is going to unfold/end?

Question of the chapter: who is your favorite youtuber?

(If you don't watch youtubers/or you want to answer 2 questions: who is your favorite book character/why?)

My favorite youtuber is Joe Sugg and if I had to pick a favorite book character it'd be America from the Selection trilogy because she's pretty fab. (Also partially not because my friends have told me they pictured me as her..)

-xx

(P.s. tête-a-tête is a lovely synonym for "a private conversation between two people" that I learned from Walk the Moon.)

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