Percabeth Dirty One Shots and Drabbles

A Crazy Christmas

A/N: first of all, don't come at me for this. There's no new nsfw percabeth on ao3–
By @ manicc on ao3
Percy

Lockdown was the worst. A civic duty to protect others? Sure. But no amount of knowledge of how well Percy and Annabeth were protecting others by preventing themselves from spreading covid could quell the fact that being stuck inside fucking sucked. Being stuck inside at Christmas, though, was even more the worst.

To start with, on the twentieth of December, Percy and Annabeth had it bad . While they'd mostly recovered from their summer stint to Tartarus back in 2010, something like a respiratory disease would kick their asses like Kronos only wished he could. They'd recovered fully by Christmas Eve thanks to New Roman medicine, but they couldn't consciously go out while their tests were still coming back with positive results. Therefore, it would be their first Christmas with only each other, far more private than the family-filled celebrations of years past.

Luckily, Apollo had come to save Christmas at the last minute. Not by curing them of their ailments (apparently curing a non-lethal disease for the sake of being timely created mountains of paperwork with the Fates) but by making sure that Percy and Annabeth would get their perfect Christmas by getting Hermes Express Plus to deliver loads of presents on their friends' behalf in time for Christmas morning. Allegedly, Apollo had even made sure that the delivery man would be dressed as Santa and would carry all the gifts in a comically oversized sack but Percy wasn't gonna stay up to see whether his delivery man was a LARPer. Instead he cozied up next to Annabeth in their warm, comfy bed and drifted off to sleep, excited for what lay ahead of them the next day. After all, everyone knew Christmas was best when you were the one everyone got presents for.

— — — Line Break — — —

Early the next morning (there was something about Christmas that meant it was always an instinctive early start for him) Percy came to, eyes cracking open. They were spooning, Percy having one arm wrapped around Annabeth's waist while keeping the other above her head so his arm didn't hurt from being crushed all night. From behind he could smell her lemony shampoo, breathing it in deeply and contenting himself with her presence.

Maybe Mariah Carey was right , he thought, Maybe she's all I need for Christmas . Then he considered how much he loved getting presents and decided that Mariah Carey was probably exaggerating slightly. After all, he was privileged enough to have both Annabeth and the rest of the assorted Christmas goodies.

"Annabeth," he mumbled, shaking her slightly, "It's Christmas. We've gotta go unwrap all those presents Apollo got delivered to us."

"Hm?" Annabeth groaned, shifting slightly, "Oh, it's Christmas, isn't it?"

"Yeah, our first Christmas alone. If you ignore all the calls we're gonna get from our families."

"Percy? Do you think Jesus is real? Like, in a demigod-y monster-y human belief way?" Annabeth mumbled.

"I don't know if anything's real until you tell me. And half the time I think you're lying."

"That's 'cause I am lying, I wanna see how much I can get away with before you call bullshit." Annabeth admitted sleepily.

"You gave yourself away when you tried to tell me about fire-breathing chihuahuas. I already know those are actually chimaeras after the time I fought one."

"After the time you got your butt kicked by one of those is what I think you meant to say there."

"I had him on the ropes." Percy lied.