HYBRID

🏒House⛸️

Lifting up the blankets, Xian crawled behind Azure, whose back was facing him. He knew the latter was awake but had yet to acknowledge him and his presence. Xian knew what he did was wrong, but from his perspective, he hadn't sinned. He raised his hand to caress Azure's hair, but retracted it at the last second. 

"Lan Zhan, all my life I have been told time and again how inconsequential my existence has been to them. How easy I am to forget and how little and meaningless my life is. I seldom had people tell me they liked me." 

Xian was quick to hold onto Azure's arms and stop him from turning. "Don't.  Just stay the way you are. Let me share my deepest concerns with you. If I were to see your face, my heart would never have the courage to speak for itself. So for now, just stay the way you are." 

When Xian was certain that Azure would not turn, he wedged his arms
back into his body, as if seeking warmth and comfort.

"For the longest time that my memory serves me, I have been living independently and am a soul who takes his own decisions. Some were good, some were bad, but in the end, they were all mine. I have always been a provider and a protector.

"Taking care of JC and Kiara, being there for them, placing their lives before mine, always worrying for JC's safety—that's all my life has been up until now. 

"Except for those kids, I have never had another soul to call my own. Even taking part in ice hockey was to encourage JC to fulfill his dream. I never lived for myself.

"Remember, I shared that twice I was adopted, but neither of those times, the people who adopted me ever showed any interest in me. To them, I was someone they could parade in front of their guests and eventually forget about.

"There was no one. Until now. Then you came into my life and changed everything."

Xian gently smiled as he observed Azure's few strands of white hair. 

"Lan Zhan, for a person who had no one, an orphan, struggling and fighting to survive, selling his body when needed, being abused and left broken to the core, to have a beautiful soul tell him, they like him..." Xian shuddered as he said, "It takes time to feel those words. I like you; this soul would never forget those words, Lan Zhan. I'll forever cherish them."

He couldn't stop Azure from turning this time, and soon they were facing each other. Xian suddenly felt naked, bearing his soul to a man with whom he felt close and soulful.

"Wei Ying."

Hearing those words, Xian closed his eyes and hummed in satisfaction. "Never knew that name would sound like a prayer."

"Wei Ying." This time Azure moved closer to Xian and gently cupped his face. "I do like you. Agreed, when we met, you got on my nerves, and I kept wondering why you were being such a pain, but eventually, you wore me down.

"I started respecting you much before I got to know your truth. I liked sharing my space and my bed with you. My home with you. It was just icing on the cake when I got to know the boy whom I met all those years ago was you; it just made it all the more special.

"After I got to know your truth and our past, there were moments my heart wished I could have done more. I kept wondering, had I stopped you from leaving; or if I had asked you to come with me; or maybe stayed in touch somehow, tried to find you a lot sooner, maybe, just maybe, I could have saved you from facing these painful moments."

Xian was quick to place his finger on Azure's lips and shake his head. "There was nothing you could have done. Don't keep having such thoughts. Chances are I wouldn't have come either, and above all, you were young yourself. Why would you take responsibility for another kid?"