Eyes Full Of Stars || Park Sunghoon

54 ¦ Dr. Chen

Sunghoon POV

For the past hour I have been pacing up and down in the empty doctor's room in the emergency room, where I was asked to go after I went on a rampage at the counter, completely upset, because no one could tell me what the situation was with Dolores.

It's my fault that it turned out this way. If only I hadn't left her alone. If only I had waited for her outside that goddamn café, none of this would have happened. It would have been best if I hadn't let her go to that meeting with Leela in the first place.

What if Dolores is permanently damaged? What about our child? Why can't anyone tell me anything?

Frustrated, I slam my fist on the table. I need to take this frustration out. I just can't take it in this room any longer. The uncertainty is eating me up from the inside. I don't want to lose Dolores. I don't want to lose our child. Just the idea hurts so much that it's unbearable and I let myself sink into one of the chairs.

Sighing, I ruffle my hair and press the heels of my hands so hard into my tear-filled eyes that it hurts. I want to get this idea out of my head. It won't happen like this, it can't happen like this.

I hear the door open and the room is filled with the buzz of voices from the hallway. Immediately I look at the door and rise from my chair, thinking it's a doctor or at least someone who can tell me more. But it is only Leela. A completely distraught Leela.

Exhausted, I let myself fall back into the chair. A sigh escapes my lips and I close my eyes. If I don't learn more soon, I'm going to lose it. Then I'll lose my mind completely.

Silently, Leela stops in front of me. I don't dare look at her. I am angry. At Leela, at me, at the man who hit my future wife, endangering her life and that of our child.

"I'm so sorry," Leela murmurs in an occupied voice. "You should be," I say with reproach. Dolores was so looking forward to meeting her. She was convinced that Leela would be happy for her. But clearly she is not. I've known from the beginning that she distrusts me.

"You shouldn't have broken up with her in a fight. Then none of this would have happened." Dolores wouldn't want me to blame Leela. But I need a scapegoat. I don't know what exactly happened between the two of them, only that they had an argument and Dolores, according to Leela's testimony, ran out of the café and then the accident happened.

Instead of saying anything, Leela remains silent. I know myself that it is not right to blame her alone for the accident. "You really love her, don't you?" she wants to know. "Are you kidding?", I ask coldly. Of course I really love Dolores. I've never loved anyone as much as I love her.

I know that, especially since my mother died, it's sometimes hard for me to admit or show my feelings to the outside world. But as far as my feelings for my little Dolores, I have no fear, no doubt.

She is hope. Love. Warmth. She is everything that feels good and right. She is the light that illuminates my pathetic life. The first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I want to see when I close my eyes.

"I love her," I assure Leela in a shaky voice. "I've never loved anyone as much as I love her." Tears run down my cheeks. Fuck. I immediately wipe them away with the back of my hand and avert my eyes from Leela. I must look like a fucking idiot.

"I'm sorry," I start again. "It's not right of me to blame you for Dolores her accident." Leela sits down in an empty chair next to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. "You're upset, and that's okay," she says, wiping tears from her face as well. "I just hope she and your baby are okay."