Eyes Full Of Stars || Park Sunghoon

60 ¦ Drunk-Dazed

With a glance at the clock, I realize that it is already the middle of the night when the loud slamming of the front door snaps me out of my light, fitful sleep.

I am still in the living room, where I fell asleep waiting for Sunghoon. I don't know how to feel. The fight with him has made me sad but mostly angry. I just can't believe that he is insinuating that I have feelings for Yeosang, even though I want to marry him and have a child with him.

Besides the anger I feel toward Sunghoon, however, there is also concern about his disappearance. I have called him at least twenty times and written him countless messages, all of which he has left unanswered.

A low rumble sounds from the hallway. "Shh," I hear someone make. Confused, I sit up on the sofa and look at the living room door ajar. "I can't be here...", I hear Sunghoon slurring.

It's obvious he's been drinking. "Get a grip, man," Jay sighs in annoyance. I'm relieved that he seems to have been at his longtime friend's house and not at some bar. That way I don't have to worry about him doing anything stupid or driving drunk.

"She hates me," Sunghoon continues to slur. I hear it rumble again. "Get up now," Jay annoyedly prompts his best friend in a hushed voice, presumably so as not to wake me. After all, he can't know that I'm long awake and in the living room.

"I don't deserve her at all," Sunghoon continues to talk. Slowly, I walk toward the slight open door and peek through the small crack. Sunghoon is sitting on the floor with his legs drawn up and his face buried in his hands. Jay, standing next to him shaking his head, sighs loudly.

"Sleep it off and talk to her tomorrow.", Jay prompts Sunghoon, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I don't think she wants to talk to me," Sunghoon retorts, sounding almost like a croaking child.

"You're incredibly annoying when you're drunk," Jay notes, helping Sunghoon to his wobbly feet. "You go brush your teeth now and then go to sleep. And tomorrow you'll talk to her and apologize to the poor thing." A/N: i love you jay

"I will... Thank you," Sunghoon sighs and pulls his best friend into a hug goodbye. Jay gives Sunghoon a brotherly pat on the back before leaving the house. Should I go out to him? Or should I wait for him to approach me tomorrow?

Before I can think it over more carefully, I also reach for the door handle and pull open the living room door.  "Sunghoon," I say in a firm voice. My fiancé, who is already halfway upstairs, stops immediately and turns to me, startled, holding onto the banister. He staggers a little.

"Jagiya," he says, trying to sound as composed as possible. Of course, it still doesn't escape me that he's totally dense. "Where were you?", I want to know, though of course I know the answer long ago.

"At Jay Hyung's," Sunghoon answers immediately. He turns on his heel and puts one foot after another on the steps, concentrating on walking approximately accident-free and straight. "I tried to call you a thousand times, Sunghoon," I say, trying hard not to cry.

"I needed some distance," Sunghoon explains to me, lowering his gaze as he finally stops just a few steps away from me. "I was fucking worried about you. You don't care that much?", I accuse him in a quivering voice.

Now the first tear leaves my eyes and runs treacherously down my cheek. I don't want to cry, but I can't help it. I've always been built close to the water, but it's definitely gotten worse since the pregnancy.

"I'm sorry," Sunghoon assures me, taking a few more steps toward me so that we're now directly across from each other. I wrinkle my nose as his acrid whiff of alcohol creeps into it. "I was so angry, and I didn't want to fight with you anymore.... I just- I just want to..." He pauses and averts his gaze from me.

"What?", I ask, wiping the tear from my face. "You want what, Sunghoon?" "I don't want to lose you because I can't control myself," Sunghoon replies in an occupied voice, shaking his head. His brown hair falls into his forehead as he does so.

"Who says you'll lose me?", I ask, crossing my arms in front of my chest, in which my heart is thumping excitedly against my ribs. Sunghoon shrugs his shoulders. He thinks. Long. Intensely. Then he lifts his eyes to look at me. "Seeing you with Yeosang scared me. I know you don't feel anything for him anymore. But you did once, and the thought scares me."

Sunghoon takes a deep breath through his nose and blows the air out through his mouth. Again, I wrinkle my nose. I can't even interpret what exactly he's been drinking. "Sometimes I look at you and doubt that I'm enough for you. You deserve more than me. You deserve someone better..."

"You fucking idiot, don't you realize it?", I whisper, reaching for his face. Shaking my head, I look into his eyes, which return my gaze full of doubt. "You're enough for me, you're everything to me."

"I hurt your feelings," Sunghoon murmurs guiltily, lowering his eyelids. It's hard for him to return my gaze as he's wracked with guilt. "You did," I acknowledge his statement, nodding.

"I'm so incredibly sorry.... I just don't know what went through my mind," Sunghoon says in a slightly firmer voice, opening his eyes again to look deeply into mine. "I love you so much."

Before I know it, Sunghoon wraps his arms around my body to pull me into a loving embrace. When I return his embrace, he buries his face in the crook of my neck and breathes a sigh of relief. "I love you too," I whisper and breathe a kiss on his temple as I gently stroke the back of his neck with my hand.

The huge weight of our argument falls off my heart. I'm just glad we were able to put the argument aside and he's back home safe and sound. "Please don't ever leave without letting me know where. Okay?" "I promise," Sunghoon whispers.

We remain in our position for a while before Sunghoon breaks away from the embrace and looks at me. "Let's go to sleep, Jagiya," he suggests. I gently stroke his brown hair from his face and place a kiss on his forehead before I agree and we head upstairs.

While Sunghoon freshens up a bit in the bathroom, I already lay down in bed and wait for him. One last time I go through the memories of today in my head before I decide to banish especially the one with Yeosang from my mind. I never want to see that man again. He has hurt me more than enough.

"Hoon," I say as the young man lays down in bed beside me and puts his arm around me. I place my hands at my stomach and turn my face in his direction. "What's wrong? Is something wrong with the baby?", he wants to know. Concerned, Sunghoon looks back and forth between my face and my stomach.

"The baby is fine," I assure him. "I felt it for the first time today.... It was just very tender, but I'm quite sure it was the baby." A smile creeps in at the thought of the gossamer kicks that felt little more than a slight, but not painful, squeeze and tingle.

"Really?" His brown eyes begin to sparkle. Immediately, Sunghoon places his hand on my stomach and gently strokes it. I nod hastily. "I haven't felt it again since then.... but maybe that will come," I say softly, again brushing the brown strands from my fiancé's face.

Smiling, Sunghoon continues to caress my baby bump for quite a while, with me watching him steadfastly.  Maybe it's the alcohol, but I'm glad that Sunghoon was so open about his fears and doubts, which ultimately allowed us to resolve our argument.

Of course, he hurt me incredibly with his behavior, but I now understand why he acted the way he did. I just hope that he now knows that there is no reason for him to worry.

The stroking movements become slower and finally stop completely. With his hand still resting against my stomach, Sunghoon falls asleep and it doesn't take long for my tired eyes to gradually fall shut as well and I sink into a deep, dreamless sleep.

A/N: i hope you're happy now