Falling Falling Stars

09 - Nine

'...A number? A number between nine and ten?'

'Nnn...'

'Nine? Efnisien? Was that a nine? Fucking... fuck it. That's a nine. Uh. Your phone is...locked, of course it is. Hang on. Hang on. I have a phone. Of course I have a phone. God, Arden, you dummy.'

Efnisien listened to himself gasping and wondered if he was in an ambulance. No. He was in an ambulance ages ago. Years ago. That had been one time. His abdomen hurt. It hurt like he was back in the ambulance. Everything hurt.

More speaking, Efnisien let it roll over him. The person's voice was nice. He was on his back, but not in a stretcher. He wasn't bleeding. He didn't feel that weird hot-cold-wet that was blood that started off as hot as his insides and quickly became as cold as the outside.

He flinched when he felt something warm and plastic-y press against his ear.

'Shhh,' the nice voice said. 'It's okay.'

'Efnisien?' That was Dr Gary.

Efnisien frowned. He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. Why was Dr Gary here? But then the phone was moving away. That was fine, Efnisien couldn't remember how to talk.

'No.' That was Arden. Arden Mercury. Dumbest fucking name but Efnisien kind of liked it. 'He's really not at risk of hurting me or anyone. Maybe himself. He's mostly just lying on the ground. Should I...call emergency? ...Okay. Sure. Okay.'

The phone against his ear again and Efnisien listened to his shallow, shallow breathing. Had he lost consciousness? Was he in Arden's store? He sucked down a breath, dizzy and floating and strange. This happened more often once. This used to happen enough that it was on his chart in the hospital. And then they talked about it at Hillview. Efnisien found it wild that his brain did all these things that it never seemed to do around Crielle.

'Hi, Efnisien, it's Dr Gary. Your friend called me, he's activated your emergency care plan. Can you speak?'

'Uh...' Efnisien said. His throat was raspy. 'Think I flipped out, Doc.'

'I think you did too,' Dr Gary said, his voice almost warm. 'Do you feel like hurting anyone? Person or animal?'

'No,' Efnisien said. 'Wasn't like that.'

'That's good to hear. What was the intrusive thought about?'

'Serial killers, mostly,' Efnisien said. 'A few of 'em. Berdella and Robinson and shit.'

A long pause. 'They were the ones that she introduced you to, weren't they?'

That was downright delicate for Dr Gary. Efnisien shuddered, then nodded, then realised Dr Gary couldn't hear him.

'Yeah,' Efnisien said.

They were the serial killers that Crielle introduced to him when he was a child, reading him the articles out loud. He couldn't remember how old he was. He just remembered that Crielle's bedtime stories were pretty fucking wild. She found Berdella's torture logs, and she made him read them out loud, and then she got a dictionary and they looked up some of the words together.

'Wouldn't you like to do something like that, darling? Some day?'

He felt humiliated and disembodied and gross. He wished the carpet would just swallow him whole.

'Can you name five things for me?' Dr Gary said gently.

Efnisien lay there, breathing and embarrassed, and Arden was still there holding the phone against his ear. Efnisien reached up with a weak hand and pressed it to his own ear, then realised it wasn't his own phone. Arden withdrew his hand, and Efnisien licked his dry lips. He tried to sit up, and Arden moved like he was going to help, but ultimately didn't touch Efnisien at all.