Falling Falling Stars

35 - Drama Triangle

Notes: This chapter is an absolute unit, just a complete chonky boy. Enjoy! (And apologies!)

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'You look tired,' Dr Gary said sympathetically, as Efnisien sagged down into the chair, feeling like it would probably take a few days for him to properly recover from how bad his stomach episode had been.

Efnisien shrugged in response.

The session wasn't off to a great start. When he saw Mack, he opened his mouth to say hi, then thought that actually, he was an asshole predator and maybe she didn't want to talk to him at all and she only responded to him because he started talking to her. Maybe she didn't want to keep talking to sex offenders. So then he just smiled really fucking awkwardly, and she smiled back, and he sat down and felt like a giant fucking pollutant sitting in the same space as her.

He understood that Dr Gary had protective things in place for her, but like, how was he supposed to know if Mack actually wanted to talk to him? Maybe she didn't. It's not like he asked her. He just asked Dr Gary for her name one day. But if he asked her if she wanted to talk to him, why would she want to be honest with him anyway? Sure, she could not talk to him, but she didn't know if he was a current threat or not, she didn't know how he'd react, she probably thought it was safer to respond friendlily, like she cared.

But she'd heard him throw tantrums and furniture and break glasses in Dr Gary's office on and off for two years. And all that time he'd left by walking straight out without saying a word and barely making eye contact.

So for five minutes he sat there, panicking about what the right fucking call was. He still hadn't figured it out by the time he sat in Dr Gary's office and the door closed Mack out and somehow created the bubble that was just him and Dr Gary, in that office.

Efnisien didn't want to say anything. He wiggled a bit deeper into the chair and stared at the plant with its dusty leaves and thought it wouldn't be hard to get a cloth or a tissue, dampen it with some water, and run it over the leaves. But like, it wasn't like the room got much sunlight, so surely the dust wasn't interfering with photosynthesis. Or was it? Efnisien didn't know.

There was a glass of water already on the table for him. Efnisien knew it would be cold water, and he knew even water made his stomach be a bastard on a bad day.

He wasn't aware of time passing, until Dr Gary shifted in his seat.

'You're quiet today,' Dr Gary said. 'I wanted to let you know that Gwyn called me earlier today. For the sake of transparency, he asked me if you were attending sessions regularly, and if I knew that you had a boyfriend, and if I had asked you to join a group. I take it he visited?'

'Yeah,' Efnisien said.

'It didn't go well?'

'It went fine,' Efnisien said.

Dr Gary had a dubious look on his face. Efnisien didn't really want to argue about it. He didn't want to talk about anything. He could just not go to choir ever again, he'd already paid up about a quarter of the year and they wouldn't miss him. He didn't know what he'd do about Arden but...he'd figure it out. And Gwyn would keep coming like normal, no matter what Efnisien said or did.

'Do you want to talk to me about the visit?' Dr Gary said.

'No.'

'All right. What would you like to talk to me about?'

'Nothing,' Efnisien said, then pressed his lips together and stared at the plant. 'I think what you do is bullshit, and I think you're bad for me.'

Dr Gary was quiet and still, and Efnisien didn't know if that meant he was excited or disapproving or what. He didn't want to know, so he didn't look up.