Falling Falling Stars

62 - Cherished

Note: Anyway! This chapter's a monster and I completely blame Arden, who is also - as you will see - a monster. In a very classically Arden way.

*

To Efnisien's surprise, Arden had elected not to jump straight into the scene on Sunday morning. Instead, they'd spent time watching TV together. It was a new season of Great British Bake Off, and Arden occasionally pointed at some of the recipes saying he'd tried making some of them, and which ones were good, and which ones had been disasters.

It had done nothing more than ramp up Efnisien's tension about the upcoming scene. Arden said Efnisien always had the option to know what would compose a scene and when it would be happening, but Efnisien preferred not to know. They had their contract with its parameters, and outside of that, a part of him liked the tension that came with the mystery of Arden holding all the cards. Except now. Except right now when he was meant to be watching TV and relaxing, instead of just lying there with his chest tight and his toes repeatedly curling, one foot after the other.

The day before, Saturday morning, he'd gone to the poetry meet up with only three poems. There were a lot more crossed out or scribbled over at home. He had two tankas, and one rhyming poem that sounded childish even to him. Looking for words that rhymed on the internet hadn't really felt like what he wanted the poetry group to be about, and he didn't enjoy it. He thought it would remind him of music, instead it just felt like the ABCs of poetry in a way that made him cringe.

Nate had been there on time, surly and tired and laconic, his eyes passing over Efnisien with a kind of muted interest, like he wasn't sure Efnisien would come a second time. Efnisien supposed after the choir, Nate probably expected him to disappear one day and never return.

Well, Efnisien expected that one day too.

Most people shared some poems. Some people were open to critiques. Leo had another poem, a new one this time, which was longer and like a story of a boy getting to know a cat. Efnisien didn't know poems could be like that, naked versions of stories. It didn't feel as annoying as fiction novels did, it felt different, and it didn't even rhyme, and that suited it better. Leo also had the cleaned-up version of the poem from the week before, this time just focusing on one of his parents instead of both. When he finished reading it aloud, asking for critique, looking at Nate nervously, Nate just shook his head.

'You don't need anything from me. You know it's fine as it is.'

Leo had smiled nervously, all teeth and creased lines at his eyes and had even looked at Efnisien like he couldn't believe it. They'd ended up standing next to each other today, and Efnisien didn't know if that was deliberate, like Leo was trying to be there for the newbie even though he also clearly didn't like speaking to anyone that much.

'Do you have anything?' Nate said pointedly to Efnisien towards the end, and Efnisien gulped and stared down at his notebook in his non-injured hand.

'I- It's not- I can't read it.'

'Gotta bust that cherry some time, my guy,' one of the girls drawled, raising thick black eyebrows. She had so many piercings that he kept trying to count them all but didn't want to stare at her. In the end, he made a mental snapshot and studied it while staring at the floor. She had thirty piercings, and that didn't include anything her hair was hiding with the green swoop of fringe cutting across the right-hand side of her face.

Now he just stared at her and realised he could have counted them right now.

'Show me after,' Nate said, dismissively, like he couldn't have cared less.

Yeah, this was such a different vibe to the choir. It was like a bunch of hostile nerd misfits – excepting the gay couple and Leo, and even they were nerd misfits – got together in a room to outcompete each other in awkwardness.