Demon Slayer; Kyameron Kamado

Chapter 59.

Darkness reached up from the horizon, hauling the sun beneath it and leaving the sky blank for the moon to overtake. The never ending embrace of blackness crushed the valley, sealing it in a capsule of unseen horrors. Through the enormous forest in the middle of the ravine, two bright lanterns of hope and belief pierced the corruption, casting a comforting aura of credence though the wickedness. 'So, now what?' Kyameron asked, following behind Shinobu who was holding a small lantern she'd picked up from town.

'We're done for the night,' She replied, 'Now, we can head back to the mansion and get some rest. Come morning, we set off for another part of our territory.'

'That's all we do?' Kyameron questioned, 'Sounds pretty monotonous, if you ask me.'

Shinobu chuckled, 'It can be. Sometimes I hate it, in all honesty. But, any chance I get to save someone else I'll take; and this gives me the most opportunity.'

'Yeah.' Kyameron said, looking down.

'Don't worry, missions come at a high enough frequency to keep you excited.'

'No...,' he mumbled, 'It's not that. It's..., I...,'

'You're what?' Shinobu asked, stopping to face him.

He hesitated. His throat started seizing up, preventing words from coming out. 'It's just...,'

'Kyameron, you can tell me. I won't judge, whatever it is.'

With her reassuring words, Kyameron opened his mouth and spoke, 'It's just..., this seems like a lot of responsibility. Are you sure I'm the best person for this?'

Now it was Shinobu's throat that seized up. Despite her prior statement about not judging, she couldn't help herself from becoming frustrated and annoyed at his statement. 'I-,' she muttered, biting her lip before blurting out something she may have regretted. 'I don't-,'

Her calm words of reason kept fighting her urge to start spewing rage-filled hate speech at Kyameron, causing all-out warfare to break loose in her windpipes. Her face began turning red in either suffocation or pure frustration. Whatever emotion or feeling it was, it wasn't flattery.

'Are you..., alright?' A nervous Kyameron asked, observing her outwardly confusing behavior. 

After almost a minute of twitching and flashing in and out of smiles, she finally settled on a phrase, 'Kyameron. With all due respect, I've told you this so many times that I now don't believe I can convince you at all. For the first time, I'm thinking about giving up on trying to help someone; because I cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped.'

'I-,'

'You're so set on this idea that you're some useless and weak buffoon that you've gone blind to everything else but that ideal. Nothing about you screams weak idiot outside of your behavior, Kyameron! I'm sorry, but you're acting like a child!'

Kyameron's brow furrowed. He knew this tone, and he certainly didn't appreciate being directly called out. 'Oh, okay, so I'm supposed to act like everything is all sunshine and rainbows after my master dies? Oh yeah, everything's fine, Shinobu! My surrogate father just got murdered while I watched and let it happened! I'm fine! Why does everyone expect me to get over that so fucking quickly?!?!' He shouted.

'I'm not saying you have to get over it, Kyameron! Not once did I ever tell you to just get over it. My point is you're handling this situation with the worst possible mindset you could have! You've defeated a twelve kizuki, successfully defended yourself from an upper moon, and you're the most skilled swordsman outside of the hashira!' Shinobu argued, 'You won't like this question, but I truly have no other choice. If Rengoku himself couldn't defeat that hashira, why do you expect yourself to?'

'I don't expect myself to beat him! If I was just a bit stronger, a bit more like him, then we could've held that bastard off until sunlight and killed him! THAT'S WHY I'M SO PISSED OFF ABOUT IT!!!!'

The forest around the two swirled in the wind, tossing a chilly blast through the canopy and onto them. Stars briefly peeked through the overhead brush to catch a glimpse of the argument. Shinobu carried on, 'I understand that, Kyameron. But how are you going to get stronger when you're doubting every action you make?'

'Last time I was confident, someone I loved died.'

Shinobu wanted to break into another vicious tirade about his horrific mindset, but found all of her frustration had been used up. At least, her social frustration; the anger for the death of her sister would never run out. She could've drawn on it, but swore not to. Kyameron did not deserve to have that taken out on him even after the argument, especially after his efforts in consoling her. Instead, she simply sighed and changed her approach, 'Kyameron, I want you to ask me about any hashira outside of Rengoku. Ask me what they've all been through.'

'Is this some stupid game?'

'No. I simply want you to ask, nothing more.'

'Alright, fine,' He grunted, 'Tengen.'

'Uzui has killed three of his siblings after being tricked by his father. The grief still weighs on him each day, but he moves forward.' She replied calmly, 'Ask about someone else.'

'Mitsuri.'

'Miss Kanroji was ridiculed and thought of as a freak for being different. She still thinks that way sometimes; wondering if she'll ever fit in. But she keeps moving forward.'

'...Sanemi.'

'Shinazugawa has done things that would absolutely destroy all of us. You, me, the other hashira, everyone. But what does he do?'

'...'

'He keeps moving forward. You see, Kyameron?' Shinobu practically begged, 'We all face adversity. We all face tragedy. And yes, you one-hundred percent have the right to feel the way you do. But, you do not have the right to stick to that mindset like it's a lifestyle. That's what gets innocent people killed in our line of work. Pressure makes diamonds, Kyameron. Without adversity, we are nothing. But if we keel over to the adversity, we're just as weak as before.'

Kyameron's eyes fell back to the dirt, rocking back and forth across his bottom eyelids. His hands fidgeted about, randomly interloping and making fists without thinking about it, all while twisting and leaning on his ankles. His shield of emotion, while sturdy, had been pierced with an explosive arrow. While the shield crumbled to bits, his heart took its first real beats in weeks. Blood finally reached his brain, allowing more thought, 'I-,'

'It's okay. I've grilled you enough. Let's keep go-,'

Shinobu was cut off, 'No. No..., not yet.'

She smiled, 'Bullseye.'

'I've been a real dick. I...,' He trailed off, 'I've..., just..,'

Shinobu didn't say anything. She simply listened, watched, and sighed in relief.

'I can't even put it in words. Like...,' He muttered, 'I just..., I don't know what to say.'

She set down the lantern, walking over to him.

'I'm..., I'm sorry.' He said.

'It's alright,' she said, taking his hand, 'I'm just glad that you're finally coming out of your shell. We definitely have work to do, but it's a start.' She guided him to a nearby tree, sitting down next to him. 'You'll be okay. I promise.'

'...Thank you.' Kyameron said, breathing out as his back hit the cool and rough bark.