Wot In The Harri Potter?

12 - The Wannabe Pin-up

"You pulled out the Gryffindor sword?! But how?"

"I dunno," I shrug as I spoon a large piece of apple pie into my mouth. "I guess I'm just that brilliant."

Pansy recoils as bits of apple and pastry spray all over her.

We are at the leaving feast, celebrating surviving yet another brilliant year of Hogwarts.

And to top it off, us Slytherins win the house cup yet again.

Despite all the good cheer, I am feeling blue about returning home. No matter how brilliant I am feeling right now, I'm sure my aunt and uncle will make me feel like I'm nothing but the dirt on the bottom of their shoes.

I try not to dwell on this too much as we journey home, instead enjoying the company of my Slytherin peers on the train ride.

"Come and stay with me," Draco offers once again, "I'm sure Mother won't mind an extra house guest."

"What about your father, though?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. "No offense, Draco, but I'm sure he will treat me just as badly as the Dursleys, especially since I freed your house-elf. And besides, I do want to see Dudley again."

Draco looks away, and I don't miss the furious expression that he gets on his face every time I mention my aunt and uncle.

I'm so pleased to see Dudley is there when I cross through the barrier. Although I am shocked to see how much he has grown, with him now being twice the height and width he was before, making Crabbe and Goyle look like a pair of wimpy kids.

At midnight that first night, after Petunia and Vernon are fast asleep, Dudley sneaks into my room and we exchange stories of the year gone by.

"You brain damaged your teacher?!" Dudley splutters in disbelief as I tell him of Lockhart's unfortunate fate.

"Well Ron did with his broken wand. I was too busy saving his little sister from a memory and a giant snake."

Summer is uneventful, except for the part where I blow up my hairy aunt. Serves the bitch right for ever setting her dog on me.

So, that is how I find myself in Diagon Alley, staying as a guest in the Leaky Cauldron.

And, by a stroke of luck, all the Weasleys join me there too, deciding to extend their summer long Egyptian vacation as Molly didn't want to cook or clean.

"But I thought you were poor?!" I point out. "How on earth can you afford all these holidays?"

Ron has no answer to that.

Everyone has been getting angsty about this hot dude on the run named Sirius Black. He is wanted for murdering a bunch of people, but - unlike Snape - his long, greasy black hair suits him.

Someone else who has very nice hair all of a sudden, is my best friend.

At first, I do not recognize him - not from behind at any rate. But when I hear him drone on about Mudbloods, I realise that the guy with floppy white-blond hair is my bestie!

"Draco?" I gasp, unable to quite take my eyes off him as I enter our usual train compartment. "You look... different."

Not gonna lie, with the way his fringe flops over his piercing grey eyes, the sharp cheekbones replacing his long gone baby face, he looks like a wannabe boy band member pin up.

Damn.

But it seems I'm not the only one to notice the suddenly handsome Slytherin.

"Hey, Draco," Daphne says, hurriedly pushing past me to take the empty seat next to him before I can. "Have you done something to your hair?"

Draco shrugs, his face flushing slightly as he turns to look out of the window.

I experience a funny sensation in my stomach as I sit between Crabbe and Goyle opposite them.

"Good birthday?" Draco asks, his gaze flitting briefly to mine.

I nod, smiling as I remember the box of birthday balloons he had sent to four Privet Drive, each silver and green balloon sporting the number '14' as they exploded into fireworks upon release. Uncle Vernon had been furious.

About halfway to Hogwarts, the train stops.

Everyone in our compartment goes into panic overload when we realise a Dementor has boarded the train.

"A what?!" I gasp as I feel the happiness slowly drain from my soul.

"A Dementor," Blaise repeats, his own face giving away his fear. "They usually reside in Azkaban-"

But I am cut off from hearing the rest of his sentence for the scream that has entered my mind - my mother's scream.

Oh fuck, here I go and faint again.

When I wake up, Draco is holding me.

"You fainted," he breathes, his voice full of concern as he carefully helps me to sit down. "You actually fainted."

A new professor then stops by to offer me some chocolate.

What a lovely man.

*****

This is the year when Draco gets attacked by a bird - or chicken as he prefers to call it.

"I can't believe that oaf made you fly that dangerous beast!" Draco hollars after I stagger back to him from my awful flight with Buckbeak.

"Shhh, it's okay," I try and reassure him as Pansy gathers me into a tight hug. "It just took me by surprise, that's all."

"Whatever," Draco snarls as he steps towards the Hippogriff. "I'll show it a thing or two about messing with my friends-"

Buckbeak lashes out at him before Draco can finish his sentence.

"Ah!!! It's killed me! It's killed me!"

Dear god.

*****

I really like Lupin. Draco, however, does not.

"This class is ridiculous," he mutters under his breath as Lupin teaches us all about Boggarts.

I think he is just embarrassed because his father walked out of the wardrobe.

*****

Thanks to the Weasley twins, I get to go to Hogsmeade despite not having a signed permission slip. Funny that, because I don't recall needing one of them to take detention in the Forbidden Forest.

I had just waved off my friends (with Blaise promising to buy me something nice), and I was standing gloomily in the Entrance Hall with nothing to do all day.

"Early Christmas present for you, Harri," Fred or George says as he hands me a tatty old bit of parchment.

"Gee, thanks," I mutter, going to slip it in my pocket.

"Wait, you haven't seen the best part!"

I bloody love those twins.

******

When I find out that Sirius Black is my God Father, Draco is nothing but supportive.

"I understand you'd want to do anything to get revenge," he says, sitting me down one night after he'd explained that not only is Sirius his cousin but that he'd betrayed my parents too. "But please don't do anything stupid."

I nod. And then, despite my canine phobia, I follow a black dog beneath a violent tree and confront Ron's murderous rat as our teacher transforms into a werewolf, and we save my godfather and Buckbeak via the means of illegal timetravel.

Wot a year.

*****