Wot In The Harri Potter?

49 - The Great Adventure

"Where the fuck are we?" I ask in a panic as I look up and down the busy city road. "We need to go back, we can't leave the others!"

"Don't be stupid!" Hermione demands. "Don't you get it? They were after you. I just saved you."

"And so did I," Ron says, puffing out his chest.

"But, Fred-" I say, my heart twisting. We'd been so happy and then this happened, and I am terrified he has gotten himself hurt.

"Fred will be fine," Hermione shrugs, unbothered. "He'll be needed there to help save the other guests. It's what the Order do. In the meantime, we need to keep ourselves safe."

She steers us into a seedy looking cafe where we nearly end up being killed by Death Eaters.

*****

I am moody as fuck in our time spent back at twelve Grimmauld Place.

Ron and Hermione just moon over one another whilst I sit grumpily, waiting desperately for news on Fred.

Finally, Lupin arrives, and tells us that he and Tonk's are fine, but have gone into hiding.

"And Fred?" I ask desperate to know he's okay.

Lupin looks at me. "As far as I am aware, he's in hiding with the rest of the Weasleys. It was chaos at the wedding, but the Order managed to fight all the Death Eaters off, including the guy who had grabbed Fred. After you Disapparated, they simply lost interest."

He offers his services to help us on our great adventure, but I tell him to fuck off back to his pregnant wife.

"Well, there was really no need to talk to him like that!" Hermione bristles, her hands on her hips and looking frighteningly like my future mother in law.

I guess Ron really does have mummy issues.

"Dumbledore says it has to be just us." I say for the hundredth time. "We've no time for outsiders."

With Kreacher's help, we discover that one of the Horcruxes is in the Ministry. I thank him despite the fact that he is responsible for the death of my godfather.

"Sirius would still be alive today if he had just showed an ounce of compassion to house-elves." Hermione reminds me.

I don't need to hear this. It is no comfort to me whatsoever.

After a thrilling trip to the Ministry, where I got to Polyjuice into a Death Eater and Ron got to snog someone's wife, we sadly lose the sanctuary of twelve Grimmauld Place and end up on a camping trip in the Forest of Thomas. I mean Dean.

Ron acts like an even mardier bitch than me, crying for weeks because he got Splinched.

"For fuck's sake, Ron!" I huff at him one night when he complains that the food Hermione and I provided was 'fucking disgusting'. "None of us want to be here!"

"WE THOUGHT YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE DOING!"

I glare at him. "Does this look like the face of someone who knows what they are doing?! If you're going to get huffy with someone then get huffy with Dumbledore. Only you can't because he went and selfishly died leaving me to save the world all by my fucking self! I gave up happiness with your brother to be sat here with you in this stinky tent!"

"IT'S ALRIGHT FOR YOU!" Ron yells in my face. "YOUR PARENTS ARE DEAD! YOU HAVE NO FAMILY TO WORRY ABOUT!"

"Well piss off back home to your mummy then!" I snarl. "I didn't even ask you to come. You're literally only here to impress Hermione enough so that she opens her legs for you."