Wot In The Harri Potter?

14 - The Goblet of Fiyah

"A Triwizard Tournament?!"

The hall begins to fill with excited chatter at Dumbledore's surprising announcement.

I have never heard of such a thing though, so the excitement goes way over my head. Sounds suspiciously like a sporting event to me, and I always hated sports day at primary school because I came last in everything.

I'll be staying well clear of this one!

I am intrigued, however, to discover that it means we are going to be hosting two other magic schools.

"Father wanted me to go to Durmstrang," Draco boasts for the millionth time. "But Mother couldn't bear for me to leave the country."

I wonder if that means it'll be like a school of Malfoys? Hermione had better watch out.

Because of the fact that Hogwarts deems it inappropriate to have a werewolf teaching the students, we now have a new Defence professor called Mad-Eye Moody who performs Unforgivable Curses in class, and disciplines students by turning them into ferrets.

Poor Draco.

Although, it does give us all some new material to rib him with, so ta for that Moody.

On the evening of our guests' arrival (beautiful boys and gorgeous girls), we are introduced to the Goblet of Fire.

The majority of the hall's occupants groan with disappointment when we are told that only students eighteen years and older can put their name in.

Well that's a relief, then. I was beginning to dread that participation was mandatory for all. I have enough to be getting on with without adding to my workload. Fourth year is no walk in the park.

"That's a pity," Draco says unconvincingly, "I was hoping to put my name in."

"Yeah... me too," I say with equal insincerity. "Such a shame..."

We catch one another's eyes and smirk knowingly.

"That's fucking typical of Dumbledore to ruin our fun," Blaise seethes, evidently upset as he bashes a fist down on the table. "I would have killed that competition!"

"Or it would have killed you," Pansy says, her voice trembling. "Daddy says that Dumbledore should be burned at the stake for allowing such a dangerous tournament to happen in the school."

Dangerous, hey? My ears prick up. I laugh in the face of danger. They should have all seen me stab that basilisk straight in it's ugly face.

Sadly, my only audience to that brilliant performance had been unconscious throughout, so everyone will just have to take my word for it.

As I mentally imagine swishing my wand around in heroic poses and winning the Triwizard Cup, the 'adults' all get up and start to move towards the front of the hall, queuing to become the next Triwizard Champion.

Lucky bastards.

*****

Well, the luck's on me because somehow the Goblet of Fire can read minds and spat out my name.

"IT WAS JUST AN INNOCENT FANTASY!" I yell at the stupid Goblet as I stride past it upon being called up.

I give it a hard kick for good measure.

Limping through the door where the other champions went through before me, I try not to wince in pain.

Dumbledore doesn't help as he follows me straight in and pins me up against the wall.

"HARRI, DID YAH PUT YAH NAME IN DA GOBLET OF FIYAH?!"

Woah, chill. I shrug him off, smoothing down my robes before I calmly give him my answer.

"No. Now if you can please refrain from touching me in future. I have endured enough abuse from those Muggles whom you consider to be appropriate guardians."

Dumbledore has the grace to look ashamed.

"It's just that I placed powerful reinforcements on the Goblet to prevent this from happening."

"Well clearly not powerful enough," Snape drawls, stepping out of the shadows in the far corner of the room, "if even Potter can break through them-"

"I DID NOT PUT MY NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH!" I roar, angered by the slight. "I JUST WANT TO WATCH, NOT DIE!"

This seems to mollify everyone. But the fact remains that I am to compete, whether I want to or not.

Later that night, after I arrive back at the Slytherin common room, I am greeted by a loud cheering crowd.

But rather than lap it all up, I run straight to the dormitory in floods of tears, much to everyone's bemusement.

"I don't want to diiieeee!" I cry into my pillow as Pansy rubs my back.

"You're not going to die," Pansy says. I don't miss the uncertainty in her tone. "Everyone just wants to celebrate with you. Won't you come back out?"

"Is there cake?" I sniff, my voice muffled.

"There are two cakes." Pansy assures me, her voice brightening. "Blaise made sure that the gluten frees are catered for too."

"Aw," came Daphne's voice. "Isn't that sweet?"

Eventually, I agree, with Pansy helping to sort out my ruined make-up before I make my grand re-appearance.

Draco is the first by my side, his face contorted in worry as he grabs my hand and leads me over to the sofa.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asks once he has sat me down and ordered Crabbe to fetch me a large slice of chocolate cake.

"Tell you what, exactly?" I sniff, rubbing my nose with the sleeve of my robes. "This is all news to me, too!"

Draco frowns. "So you didn't do it? You didn't hoodwink the Goblet of Fire?"

"Blimey, I'm brilliant but I'm not that brilliant!"

"Point taken," Draco replies, shrugging as though no further explanation is needed.

Twat.

******

Ron refuses to acknowledge me.

"He's just a little upset that you are once again getting all the glory." Hermione admits after Ron walks straight past me in Potions. "It's not easy for him."

Not easy for him? "I'd hardly call it glorifying, knowing that I've got three deadly challenges to overcome throughout the year." I snip.

"Well, well, Potter," Snape drawls, interrupting our conversation as he enters the classroom brandishing a copy of the Daily Prophet. "I see your little interview has made front page news."

Oh for fucks sake. My face flames as he proceeds to read the offending interview out to the entire class, putting on a high pitched voice.

"I suppose I get my strength from my parents, I know they'd be very proud of me if they could see me now... yes, sometimes at night I still cry about them, I'm not ashamed to admit it... I know nothing will hurt me during the Tournament, because they're watching over me..."

He stops as the entire class rolls about in tears of laughter, all except for Ron who glares at me.

"I SOUND NOTHING LIKE THAT!" I bellow at Snape.

My so called Slytherin mates are practically pissing themselves with laughter - and even Hermione is trying to hide her giggles behind her hand.

"Stop laughing," I mutter fiercely to Draco as I take my seat at the desk. "You know it's all bullshit, that Rita bitch twisted my words."

He wipes actual tears from his eyes. "I'm sorry, Harri," he wheezes. "But you've got to admit, Snape attempting to impersonate a fifteen year old girl is too funny."

I mean, I can't argue with that.

******