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I needed his help more than I ever needed anything.

"Here's my number if you need anything. I'm not gonna be near here but if you're ever in any danger, anything, just call me and I'll get to you as soon as possible."

I dug through my bag searching for the crumbled paper buried in my clothing when my fingers located it.

Grasping it like it was going to vanish between my fingers, I walked until I could find a telephone pole and dialed it with giddiness in my fingers.

Just as soon as I pressed call, the number instantly disconnected. "This number is no longer avaible."

I tried as many times as I could until I ran out of coins.

I looked down at the paper coated in droplets of tears. My last piece of hope was gone.

Carl was gone.

(TRIGGER WARNING: HARMFUL THOUGHTS)

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(TRIGGER WARNING: HARMFUL THOUGHTS)

What the hell am I going to do?

I'm sure I had a guardian angel because I got away alive in too many fatal situations.

I know my guardian angel is sitting up in heaven cursing me out for my naivety and failure to read the room in a dangerous situation.

There's a suspicious old couple with an odd fascination with you. Stay in the hotel!

A suspicious man you've never met offers to take you home? Get in his car!

A young couple is too homely and it's quite discomforting. Allow them to take you home!

I fail to see things as they are no matter how much I've been through because I'm just tired. I don't want to have to second guess every kind gesture, I always try to see the good in others.

I just want to be normal.

I'm so exhausted with the way my life has turned out.

I hate how I have to think deeply about a simple situation I'm in that normal people would never have to question.

But I've come to the terms that I am unfortunately not normal.

You would think that after years of mental and physical abuse, it would be impossible to break me and I would constantly be ten steps ahead.

However, I was always sheltered by Antonio. My biggest fear was either getting Antonio upset or not passing a level on Sudoku.

I didn't live normally. I didn't even live a life at all. There was one eventful thing that would happen every day and it would be my interactions with Antonio. Bonus points on rare occasions if he didn't explode on me.

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