Faust

Crude jokes

Back when I first started out as a merc, on a summer night. I just finished dealing with some loan sharks at West, and head back to one of the Italian's joints on the second floor of a restaurant to collect my stuff. Went passed three crooked hallways, two sets of stairs, a bunch of doors, and guards smoking indoors while on duty. At the time, little Italy wasn't completely under the control of the family like today. Small factions of scumbags and lowlifes occupy their courters of the street.

       After taking my cut, my employer's employer, a fat fuck in a gray tailored (only way a suit would fit him) suit, pressed down on my shoulder and 'ask' me to stay and get a drink before hitting the road.

The guy was called Nicola..... something. There's a nickname after it but I can't remember. By that time, people thought he was going to be the one to prevail in the power struggle, though about six years ago he was killed in his own car, three shots to the head right when he was leaving the city. But before that happens, he was the biggest and meanest fish in little Italy, and famous for being mutable.

That night I couldn't find a reason not to stay, and Nicola wasn't giving me a choice either. So I sat down, put on a big smile, have a few drinks and laughs with them. It was mostly fine, the guys were pretty fucking hilarious and fun to talk to that's true, but during my sixth drink. (or tenth)

Someone mentioned there was a stench on his sleeve from the sauce and made a follow up "You should get someone to clean it, a laundry shop or something. That shit's hard to come off."

And to that, Nicola replied. "You're right! Lee boy! Come here! Do what you people do best!" Everybody laughed.

About a hundred things went through my mind, but I didn't say a word..... until he added a follow up too.

"Oh, what's up with the gloomy fucking expression boy? Here, you get it cleaned, and I'll gift Pete's dog to you. It's a lazy fucking animal, it doesn't run much...... I'm pretty sure the meat is tender."

Everyone in the room bursts into laughter, except two guys at the corner, they noticed the intent on my face. And I noticed them. Thank fuck I did, or else I would have killed him with the booze courage. I forced myself to laugh with them and relaxed my clenched grip.

But that doesn't mean I did nothing.

When the laughter and bullshits are wearing off. I said with a cheery voice.
"Nahhh. I'll do it no problem. Shit. I'll even do you a service, I'll dye the linings pink!" The guys and Nicola looked confused. So I added.  "You know. So when you go visit your family at the farm, you don't have to tip off the owners! Just wear the jacket reversed and crawl on all fours! No one will notice! You'd fit right in!"

I really should't drank however mucho drank that day.

Next thing I know, I'm pinched at the table with my face down. Nicola was standing right behind me with a steak knife, face so red he looks like Santa Claus.

The second before he guts my belly, my mind came off with something. I shouted.

"He didn't laugh!" Nicola's hand stopped mid-air. He flip me over facing him and asked.
"What the fuck are you on about now?" I pointed at one of the two guys at the corner.

"The guy didn't laugh. When everyone else in the room were laughing their ass off he didn't, not just when I said what I said, but the entire time. Now I know what I spoken was disrespectful to you and your family, but Sir. You got bigger problems than a foul-mouthed man. He didn't laugh, but he did something else!" The guy's pupil expanded, even in that state, at that distance I can still see it.