I Was Her

Chapter 1

YARA'S POINT OF VIEW

I slowly exhale the smoke as I stare at the sky—like I'm analyzing the weather to see if it is going to rain or not. The sky is cloudy yet some dark. There is no sun, but there is still heat from the sun. Another day, another fuck-up mission. I throw my cigarette on the ground and start the engine of my big bike. I take the helmet hanging from the handlebar, wear it, and drive on the way to work. 

"Miss!"

I turn to the man on the motorcycle who stops next to me at the stoplight. He slightly raises one of his hands and motions for me to turn the handlebar to hear the sound and noise of my big bike. 

I didn't follow him right away, but when the light turns green, I make a loud noise on the motorcycle and drive it fast—na ikatuwa ng ilang mga kalalakihan na kapwa ko mga naka motor 'din pero ang pinagkaiba ngalang mas maangas ang sa akin.

"Yara!"

I haven't completely taken off my helmet when a familiar woman calls me after I reach the parking lot.

I feel her running towards me, but I don't look at her. I get off the motorcycle and put the helmet back on the handle bar. It won't be stolen because the security inside and outside the building is tight. Siguro naka halumpasay na agad sila—mga ilang hakbang palayo palang sa motor ko.

Bahagya kong naisuklay ang mga daliri ko sa sobrang ikli kong buhok na siyang dahilan kung bakit ako napag kakamalang lesbian-all the time.

Nilingon ko si Hope na nasa likuran ko.

"Happy birthday!" she greets me while holding a bento cake, which is filled with black.

Everything is black except lang sa ginamit niya pang sulat, puti ito pero hindi ko pa mabasa. I stare at the candle when I see that it is not lit.

"Ay gago! Sorry, haha!" she exclaims, kinuha ang lighter sa bulsa ng pants niya, switches it on, and lights the candle.

"Oh' mag wish kana muna," she says, gently extending her arm to give the cake to me.

I take it.

"Magpadilig kana?" wala sa sariling basa ko nang mabasa ang nakasulat sa bento cake.

I exhale in disbelief nang tawanan lang ako ni Hope.

"Bali ayan 'yung wish ko para sa'yo, your turn."

"But my birthday is tomorrow."

"I told you I wanted to be the first one to greet you and celebrate your birthday. I always wanted to be ahead, duh? Hindi ka pa nasanay. Now, wish," she says it cheerfully.

I take a deep breath.

We're the only two people here in the parking lot, so it's not embarrassing. Since Hope and I became close, she's been doing this to me every year. Lagi siyang one day advance kung bumati at mag celebrate at hindi nawawala ang bento cake na siyang mismo ang may gawa. Well, she's the only friend I have, and she's the best among the rest of my co-workers. She understands me, and she makes me smile every time we are together.

I close my eyes for a few seconds.

I haven't even blown out the candle when her hand quickly moves to cover my mouth.

"Anong wish mo?"

I glare at her; her eyes narrow as she looks at me, and she slowly removes her hand from my mouth.

"Like wala na sana next year?"

"Hoy gago ka! Kumatok ka nga!" sabi niya at kinuha ang bento cake sa'kin. She guides my hand to knock on my big bike seat.