A Misfit? | (Pomefiore!OC x Twisted Wonderland)

why

The sun has already set for a while, yet two Pomefiore students can be seen lurking inside the dorm's respective laboratory. It was a tidy mess, their moves all calculated, and even simply putting out the trash is carefully done. Lucien Valentin, who is assigned to assist Vil with the ingredients, was especially cautious as he is clueless about what to do.

"Valentin, pay attention!" Vil firmly stated with a frown, it seems that his companion is a bit lost.

Lucien quickly rereads the instructions expecting to understand the gist of it. Ah, he's hopeless. Lucien softly bit his lower lip before he sigh, "If I knew that I will be doing all of this, I should've put some effort back then..."

Yet another day of regrets for Lucien. "It's always not enough." "I should have done better." "I shouldn't have hesitated." "I should have convinced myself it's for my own good." It's always the same thoughts, same feelings, and same emotions. Lucien is unconsciously breaking himself. Still, his resolve is absolute. It is a fight between oneself. Lucien will definitely make a thesis about potionology by the time he gets back in his room. Feeling a little bit better, Lucien prepared the things he bought earlier from Sam's shop as instructed by Vil. He is a little light-headed and did not notice the piercing gaze from Vil Schoenheit, observing his every move.

"You are technically doing things wrong." Vil lost a little of his cool and started to hastily tap his pointing finger on the table, his frown deepened, and he look exactly like he was trying his best to choose the correct words. But then he snapped, "Are you mocking Pomefiore?! I am seriously trying my best to see what the mirror saw in you- AH, how! Just how are you here?! How are you in Pomefiore?! You can't even prep potion ingredients correctly? It's the basics of the basics. Hades, you must be kidding. Just you- Just look at yourself. You look undeserving."

"Get out." As if he has given up, Vil hunched his back and rested his face on his palms.

Lucien stopped what he was doing making the lab all silent. What... just what. Lucien's mouth remained unmoved but Vil can't see the saddened eyes behind those fringes. Vil can't see the tear threatening to roll down Lucien's eyes. Vil can't see the hot sensations in Lucien's throat. Vil can't see how Lucien's breath is unstable. Vil can't see what the magic mirror saw in Lucien.

Lucien didn't make any noise as he exited. It is a brief walk, so he hopes his crying stops by the time he's in front of his room. For now, he lets his tears freely brush against his cheeks to carry away the uneasiness of his heart. It feels like it's just him against the world after all.

---

Lucien's calculations were wrong, by the time he entered his room he bursts into silent sobbing. As if he's a teenage girl in denial of breaking up with his ex, he rested his face on the soft pillow which solely catches the continuous flow of his grieving emotions. He became even more afraid of reality. He's better off holed up in his room reading unrealistic novels.

Lucien Valentin is rethinking his life choices.

That's it... Maybe it's yet too late to drop out. His brothers will understand, right? Maybe- just maybe, he can do better in his next life... Maybe he should just end himself out of his misery. Maybe he's better off de-

Lucien harshly coughed, his spit flying and flowing off his mouth. Quickly, he searched for tissue and cleaned his face putting his hair out of way. He is trying to calm down and tame his thoughts. Steadily, trying to breathe through his mouth, Lucien is ashamed to think—even just for a second— about those thoughts.

Lucien tiredly sat in front of his vanity table, looked at the mirror, and there he saw his reflection of a feminine lad with bloodshot eyes, nose and cheeks. He quietly muttered, "No, what if they noticed I cried...."

Touching his delicate reflection, he pitied his image. "Please don't cry again. I beg you... Please..."

Yet again he failed himself as tears started to roll down but his poker face remained. As if even his reflection is pitying him. "I can do it, right? I'm not the only person like this... I read similar scenarios in books. I just need to think correctly... I shouldn't blame myself. That's it. It's just a phase... it's just a phase... A phase. I'll get through this. This is really nothing. Haha."

Lucien reassured himself with empty words. Empty words he used to make himself believe that it was alright, just shrug everything off. It is nothing to worry about.

Once again he looked at his reflection straight into the eyes, "but why do my eyes look like I'm in pain..."

He tried to smile. Come on. Just once. Why can't he smile genuinely just once?

Lucien frowned and decided to brush his teeth. Wash his face. Comb his hair. Anything to make him feel comfortable. He organized his belongings. Cleaned his room. Dispose of the trash.

"My body feels light... Yet my heart is heavy." Lucien sighed as he randomly picked a book to read. It amazes him, really, how different people have different writing styles. As Lucien observed, currently about the book he is reading, the writer is particular about using hyphens in his sentences. Somehow there is a lingering feeling whenever he sees a hyphen as if the spirits are trying to tell him something. He can't pinpoint what's up about it but he feels a connection.

'Oh, Eri-san? I think she caught a fever...' This is it, the cliche romance plot. Lucien 'tsk'ed but at the same time, a certain unfamiliar memory flashed through his mind.

"Holy sheet." Abruptly, Lucien stood up to get a pen and a piece of paper.

---

"I am out of my mind! That's so unbecoming of me. Why did I- just why?" Vil said through gritted teeth. A sudden wave of regret overwhelmed him. He's lost out of his mind.

It did pain him knowing that he hurt Valentin with his words but he know for a moment back then that it was true. Everything he said is true, but the way he delivered his words is just worse. He's supposed to help Valentin achieve his 'character development' yet he did the opposite. His good intentions are now going to be overlooked... Vil exhaled deeply.

"I did achieve many things by myself, maybe this is just for the better?" Vil solemnly made the potion he intended to showcase to become a worthy Pomefiore dorm leader. "At least I learned a thing or two about my flaws because of today's occurrence."

---

The next day came, it was like a calm before the storm... Or maybe the aftershocks of the storm? Whatever it may be, Lucien accidentally stayed up later than he imagined. Though his mind feels refreshed, his body isn't. He can feel the fatigue from what he did last night yet he did not find any point in it. Well, it's all done now.

Lucien deeply inhaled as he woke up with the thoughts, "Guess it's my first time spending my birthday alone. I wish my twin a happy birthday too... I hope he's with us."

This is only the fourth day of September... It's frightening when things are already intense as it is. What else could go wrong...?

Maybe everything?

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