borrow

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Lucien once again gulped down plenty of water from his flask. He can't help but notice the hard pounding of his heart directly sending electrical impulses to his brain. He could not focus on the magical history lecture as his attention is taken away by the sensation on his nerves. Similarly, his seatmate, Malleus Draconia, also known as the 'pretty seatmate,' is focused not on the lecture but on the person beside him. With his heightened senses and outstanding observing skills, he can pretty much guess that Valentin is not acting naturally despite conversing only once.

In all honesty, Malleus is surprised to see Valentin sitting beside him without hesitance. Malleus had already gone through the five stages of grief and is trying to live an optimistic life. Nevertheless, Malleus will deny that he was two hours early for the lecture because he is 'optimistic.'

The 30-minute break per subject is nearing. Lucien noticed that his nervousness has yet to subside. He is conscious of having eye contact with the professor. Lucien began to draw random lines with his quill, anxiously waiting to be dismissed. His right foot is swaying back and forth uncontrollably.

Finally, "Class dismissed."

Lucien silently watched as his classmates hurried their way out and completely forgetting about his pretty seatmate. He lightly banged his head onto the table but he did not lift it, instead, he even used his arms as a pillow caging his head.

Lucien did something wrong yet he does not know what. Something is off. It's not alright. Something is bugging him enough to put him on the verge of crying in the middle of the morning. "Something is wrong... Something going to happen." Lucien murmured.

"Valentin?" Malleus tried to sound as soft as possible.

Lucien quickly raised his head, slightly panicking.

"Do you want... To be left alone right now?" Malleus Draconia had times like this. He surely knows the feeling. Even though the situation of the other party is unclear, everyone had a fair share of anxiety. Malleus' finger suddenly twitched as he remembered a memory. He was all alone. He wanted to prove himself but things changed. He gave up and started pushing other people away. He became picky about whom he converse with. Human life is too fragile... It's too short, too complicated, and too exciting.

His words... He regretted it. If he was in Valentin's position he would be sorrowful. It is not the words he would want to hear. Never in his life had Malleus wanted to be alone. He would feel complicated if someone asked him "do you want to be left alone right now?"

No. He wanted someone. He wants to be asked "do you need someone right now?" He wants to hear it. Those exact words. Seeing Valentin in his current state... Malleus couldn't help but want to stay beside him and give him the comfort he never had from other people.

"P-pretty seatmate." Lucien stuttered, his nose and cheeks clearly reddening.

"...Can I-" Lucien hesitated, "Can I borrow your hand.."

"You need assistance on a matter?" Malleus asked and was utterly surprised when Lucien held his hands.

Lucien is squeezing Malleus' hand too tight for comfort. Although the hand he is holding is cold, he can feel the warmth inside his heart.

Tears visibly rolled down Lucien's cheeks. Malleus watches him as he quietly whimpered and sniff snot.

"I forgot it's the fourth of September today... I thought I'm going to spend my birthday alone... But I can count you in, right?" Lucien smiled although bitterly. "Thank you. Thank you so much." Lucien quietly sobbed as he held Malleus' hand near his forehead before he stood up and ran away.

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