A Misfit? | (Pomefiore!OC x Twisted Wonderland)

what if

I have to update quick + write quick or else I might get busy again- next update is tomorrow or later

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It's inevitable to see each other first thing in the morning. Vil tried to wake up earlier than usual and so did Lucien, yet both of them are staring at each other when they opened their doors, their plans ruined. Lucien has no intention of saying anything. He forgets but does not forgive however he also doesn't hold grudges. Call him weird but Lucien tries to be as open-minded as possible. Lucien can understand where Vil is coming from and he can also fully understand how much of a failure he is.

Seconds passed and neither both are talking nor moving, it was as if they are calculating the other's next move. The silence is deafening as it is uncomfortable to hear their pulsating nerves but everything is ended with Vil's creamy voice.

"You. I'm not going to apologize. Go do something about yourself." he walked out with pride.

Vil cursed himself, that was not what he intended to do. The words seemingly come out naturally out of his mouth. Whatever he can handle himself, just think of it like acting. Only then he realized one thing. He turned to face Lucien, "Also, there is a welcome party happening tomorrow in our lounge. Much similar to the welcome party after the entrance ceremony although..." Vil scrutinized Lucien from bottom to top, "it is only exclusive for us in Pomefiore. Goodbye then."

What a great start of the day. Lucien almost stopped breathing whilst hearing the sounds of Vil's disappearing footsteps. He clenched the door handle until his knuckles became paler than natural. Lucien inhaled deeply. What the truck can he do? Changing himself is easier said than done. It hurts so much after believing that he is content with himself. Everything feels like a lie. He lies to himself. He is a fool.

Taking one step forward in the very same hallway that Vil walked on feels very shameful. Lucien buried deep his long-gone pride and went to the campus cafeteria as usual. True, there is a dining place in their dorm, but he would not dare make one step inside the den of the peacocks.... tho technically he already did.

A complete waste of time. Piece of sheet. Human trashcan. Disposable waste. A sissy pants bitch. The pride of parasites. Words cannot hurt Lucien Valentin. The way Vil looks at him explains a lot and it hurts even if no words were spoken. Lucien's heavy heart was weighing him down as walked through the pavement. The anxiousness was multiplied by other students' presence. Lucien knows that they were not looking at him, he knows he mastered the arts of stealthiness yet even though he knows for a fact that he remains unnoticed he cannot help but not believe in himself. Even after how many times he relieves himself he always doubts. What ifs, what ifs, what ifs....

What if he betrayed himself.... his remaining hope... and just give up.

Lucien suddenly shivered. His shoulders shook. Ah, fuck.

(That's it, I completely give up censoring the profanities.)

"It's getting hard to breath..." Lucien murmured whilst he wipe away the tears threatening to roll down. "Why do I feel tired? The day is just starting..."

Lucien once again waved off his intrusive thoughts and bought breakfast for him and the forest deity. "I think I'm forgetting something?"

"Heya little junior~!!" Uno yawned, "You bought a lot aye? Didn't know you have much appetite, since you're kinda.... ehhh never mind." Uno scratched his cheek whilst he recall when he felt Lucien's body pressing against him that time he was taken to the infirmary after he laughed too much. His physic is kinda on the skinny side, but no matter, it's good to see his little junior eat so much.

"No??? It's for.. Leona-senpai." Lucien said whilst his heartbeat accelerated.

"What? You angered him first thing in the morning?" Uno yelped confused yet he is also preventing his laugh to come out.

"I promised to buy him meals?" Now Lucien is getting more confused.

"Nuh-uh! I'm pretty sure you only promised to buy him lunch once! Tsk, tsk tsk. Do you have a bad memory or something? What? It's not like I'm saying that you are mentally ill you know- I wasn't trying to deliver it negatively! Hey- Don't look at me with those eyes—which is by the way I can't really see them—but you know what I mean!" Uno can't help but roll his eyes.