I was pacing. I don't think I've ever done that before. Outside his room, tapping my phone in my hand. I knew it was going to come up at one point. It had been crap enough telling Ava and Noah so soon after it happened but I knew him coming to mum's with me today was going to make telling him inevitable. And the song coming out tonight too, I think this had to be the right time. 6 years is a long time but it's still fucking raw. And that house is practically a fucking shrine.
His door opened and Theo stepped right out into me.
"Woah Morgs. What are you doing? I was just coming to get you."
"You ready to go?" He raised an eyebrow. "We need to make a few stops first."
"Yeah baby I'm rea-"He pulled the door closed, hand on my hip so he could step into the hall a little easier. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I nodded quickly. "I hired a car. Let's go." I turned, walking quicker than normal down the hallway. I hated this. Bringing it up, talking about it all. A lot of it had to do with me not coming home like I should and it's why my parents don't talk to me. But every damn year I get the same look from Ava and Noah and now I'll have to have it from Theo too and- the sooner it's out there and over, the better. I climbed into the driver's seat of the car I'd already been out and collected first thing this morning before he woke up. We needed to be on the other side of town today and I was not going to mess around with busses if I could at all help it.
The second Theo was in the car, I pulled out of the hotel car park, driving in silence, tapping my fingers on the wheel as I tried to work out how to put it all out to him. I pulled into a spot on the high street of the local village, telling him to hold on whilst I grabbed the 2 sets of flowers I'd ordered a few days ago online to pick up.
"Morgan. Babe. What's going on?" I sighed, turning the volume up on the radio that wasn't currently playing, just connected to my phone and pulled out again.
"I haven't been completely honest about something and unfortunately there's no way for me to get away from it right now. I might have been able to for a few more months but you coming home with me means it's going to be all in your face and then the song coming out at the same time. I'd have told you eventually Theo it's just still- " He raised an eyebrow at me. "It's still fresh I guess, I hate how people look at me when they know. Ava and Noah do it every year and we get into this big argument about it every year without fail. So just don't. Okay?"
"I can't say that until I know babe." I nodded, sighing again as we hit a red light. Grabbing my phone, I hit play quickly, letting the new song play out in the car. It wasn't like my normal stuff. A hell of a lot slower, more intense, more heart breaking but strong and when I played it for Noah and Ava they both cried.
"I think of you when I think about forever
I hear a joke and I know you would have told it better
I think of you out of the blue
When I'm watching a movie that you'd hate
And you'd say it
You were never one to hesitate
You were always first in line
So why would it be different for heaven
But I got a couple questions
Is there a bar up there
Where you've got a favourite chair
Where you sit with friends
And talk about the weather?
Is there a place you go
To watch the sunset and oh
Is there a song you just can't wait to share?
Yeah I know you'll tell me when I get there."
I knew this song coming out tonight, just before the wedding probably wasn't the best timing but it was all the label could do without releasing it around Christmas and that didn't seem fair to Jake. Theo's hand reached for mine, holding on tight as a tear slid down my cheek.
"Do you think of me? Do you wish that I would slow down?
Are there some things that you've seen that feel like home now?
Are you up there climbing trees, singing brand new melodies?
I hope you are, I know you are
Is there a bar up there
Where you've got a favourite chair
Where you sit with friends
And talk about the weather?
Is there a place you go
To watch the sunset and oh
Is there a song you just can't wait to share?
Yeah I know you'll tell me when I get there
Yeah you'll tell me when I get there
Will you save me a place with all those pearls of wisdom?
Yeah I'll make some mistakes and you'll watch me as I live them
Til I'm through, 'til I'm with you
Is there a bar up there
Where you've got a favourite chair
Where you sit with friends
And talk about, talk about the weather?
Is there a place you go
To watch the sunset and oh
Is there a song you just can't wait to share?
Yeah I know you'll tell me when I get there yeah
I think of you when I think about forever."
I'd been parked in the cemetery for a minute when the song finished and I continued looking out at the row of trees hiding all the stones from the road. I reached back to the flowers grabbing them both and then looked back at Theo.
"Do you want to meet my brother?"
YOU ARE READING
Head in the clouds
RomanceMorgan Branning is taking the world by storm. 2 years into her public career and she's hitting targets people who have been doing this for years have only just been able to do. With the end of her second tour leaving the music industry amazed by h...
