Falling Again || bnha

You are like cinnamon rolls

This chapter contains swearing...just a bit.

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You pierced the student's chest, crimson poured, his eyes blurred, lifeless, unlike the heart that kept beating in your hand until it stopped. You killed the 15-year-old student.

he was only 15.

and you were only 8.

     At least that was what your brain told you, but in reality, the 15-year-old student was still alive, in front of you, a ball was in your hands, it never moved in your hand. You didn't kill the 15-year-old student.

He is only 15

and you are old as fuck.

    At least that was what your heart told you, but in reality, you only needed to land that ball in the boy's target and it would be over, but why were you doing this? You are here, old as fuck, begging gods for energy sources, what are you even doing, (Y/n)?

     Here you were, begging for power, Death insisted on visiting Zeus and you did, got on your knees, begged. Gods don't beg, but you do. What are you even doing, (Y/n)? 

   There was this 15-year-old boy in front of you, looking at you, crying, he wanted to be a hero, he had a goal. In all these centuries how many goals did you achieve? did you think you had eternity to complete them? What are you even doing-

    "Please," The 15-year-old boy said "Please, this, this is everything" He begged. 

    No. This was not right. If you let this boy win out of pity a villain will kill him without mercy. But you can't help but feel like a villain when you shake your head no. What are you even doing, (Y/n)?

     You've killed this boy in your mind thousands of times, just like you've killed everything that you landed sight of. Did you even change after all these centuries? What are you even doing, (Y/n)?

     Maybe this was your villain arch, you bitterly laughed, as if you were ever once in your life a good person. 

     "Then just get this over already" The 15-year-old boy didn't hesitate, after all, he did need medical assistance for his injuries.

      You wonder why you don't feel pity as you hit the target on his suit, was it because you killed him in your head a thousand times? Stabbed him? Stabbed, stabbed, stabbed that fucking guilt of yours, why do you not feel enough, (Y/n)? Did you dream too big....?

      When you heard your name on the speaker only one thought crossed your mind. The gods have forsaken us because of themselves. Have all gods felt this powerless? Your hand trembled, trembled, and trembled. Were we all promised something too great? 

    They took my wings, they took my power, it was only when I almost killed All for One that I gained my power. I'm not meant for good.

You took a fuck load of time to realize it.

   There was a small part of you that thought this whole thing wasn't worth it. That maybe if you had just sat still and looked pretty for your husband, maybe if you weren't here, your mind wouldn't be in ruins, you would have this small house in the middle of nowhere, with blood on your hands, children screaming in your ears, a husband who didn't fucking exist but hey, at least you'd have some sort of mental health? Maybe your children would give you some sort of reason as to why you're not moving forward, as to why you can't find a fucking reason to exist.

Shush.

    You saw a puff of green hair run toward you. You imagined what if it was a teal-haired pretty boy with golden droplets for eyes? I think you would be happier to see someone who knew you better than anyone.

     You can't help but feel desperate for Seth's touch as he holds your face between his hands. His lips press against your forehead softly, and then he presses a kiss on your mouth. I think you can remember his touch, his tight, tight, tight embraces and - yeah, you can definitely remember- the way he said to you that every time he held you tighter it was to make sure you were real.

   You can remember, the smile that now adorns your face, not because of this green-haired boy in front of you - no, no, no, you can remember when Seth told you, you felt like a dream, you couldn't be true he would laugh, that fucking tea kettle laugh of his, oh god, how you wanted to shut every single word out of his mouth with a kiss. 

      Because you know, you remember, how you fucking remember that Seth's hug was the only thing that kept you whole. 

     Your mind gnaws at you.

    "you're like cinnamon rolls" He echoed in your brain.

     Your mind rips you apart

    "what are you on, Seth" Your laugh scratches your brain.

     You are broken

     "Cinnamon rolls are amazing, they taste like heaven" His smile is soft. 

      You want to hear his laugh

      "That sounds kinky" 

      Oh, there it is

     "Oh, I know." His voice was a bit deeper than usual, and he smiled wider. You could hear his laugh, your heart raced faster, and you couldn't breathe.

    "I am going to love you forever," he said so gently, so lovingly, you can see him in your mind, he is holding your hand, smiling warmly, he's kissing your knuckles, whispering sweet things into your ear. You were happy

    "(Y/n)! Why are you crying?" Midoriya brings you out of your daydream "Did something happen?" 

I am/you are not meant to be here

I am/you are meant to get what was mine/yours

Your mother erased everything.

oh, how I want to rip her heart out.

Seth told you the world feels more colorful with you, now you can't remember when was the last time you didn't see everything black and white.