Falling Again || bnha

Annoucement

Hello!

to those who still remember this book and those who started reading. This is my first announcement, in 4 years of writing this book. My first actual fanfiction. And I feel like I owe you guys an explanation.

a quick resume before I start:

-the reason why I wrote this book.
-reason why after these years I've persisted
-the reason why I stopped
-what I'm going to do now.

so let's start. If you don't want to read it, there will be a summary at the end.

2020 was a crazy year, an era where people were the most online, being weird(?) but being themselves, we were not bound by the word cringe and it shows us evidence that embarrassment is a social construct. We were, although people cringe at it, I think we were the most of ourselves.

I read hundreds of fan fiction, and none of them showed what I wanted to read, what I imagined and constantly daydreamed. A slow start, but I began writing, I didn't want her to be strong, but I wanted her to be special, because I wanted to feel special, and I wanted her to be loved too.

And as I began writing, I remembered how happy I was, when I got my first comment??? OH MY GOD, that feeling? I don't know when I'll ever experience it again. The stars I received when I wrote a chapter, the comments of people laughing like I'm funny???? shut up im getting shy LMAO

  It was my happiest moment, but whenever I'd receive criticism, omg world shattered. But the point is, I felt heard and I felt like I had something I was good at. It was amazing. But as years went by, I felt like I just got sadder? Like I wasn't the person that began writing the book in the first place and a part of me feels like I'll never be able to recreate the start of this fanfiction.

    Whenever I read it, I see a softer, happier version of me, turning into a sadder version that occasionally gets happy. I don't know what happened. No, I won't rewrite this book, I will not erase parts of myself just because she was maybe cringe, Too happy, maybe Too dramatic lmao, because, despite it all, she was me and she will still exist as long as I don't erase it.

    Maybe I can spoil everything that I planned for this book, maybe I can continue it, but I barely watch mha anymore.

    Besides, plot holes everywhere!?!? I wanted to give the readers what they wanted to read, and maybe I lost my way.  Still, after all these years, maybe updating after a month, maybe a week, maybe never lmao. I truly wanted to finish this book.

    Put an end to everything I imagined, and not become one of those writers that just never come back and you wonder, what happened? Are they okay?

     Now I understand why people stop. Why books are never finished. Why do readers complain or feel sad, I've seen both sides of the coin, and I'm not even that famous LMAO. I guess, we get busy too

    When I say busy, it's like insane. Not the type of "Oh, I have so much stuff to do" like no, it's like one day you're a kid, happy with nothing to do. The next day you have five guns aimed at your head, ordering you to act like an adult, to do shit, but nobody ever taught you how to be one, and they keep telling you that you shouldn't be angry at your parents because it's their first time living, but nobody remembers that it's your first time living too. That you know shit about taxes, that you know shit about life, that everything never required effort from you, so you don't know how to put an effort into things, and how do you deal with anger? please, like how do you deal with it? ignoring isn't dealing with it. It's insane and no one wonders why depression is so on "trend" these days. But it's because of our phones, I assure you. No, no, hear me, it's your phone. Not because inflation is reaching the heavens and that true friendships and love are fucking myths. It's your phone and those games you play, or those shows you watch.

    Sorry, it's just fucking insane, and I feel like I'm only regaining control like 2 years later than I should've. Then one day, when you seem to accept the fact that your life is just constantly trying to please the people with the guns, a younger version of yourself appears before you, crying, holding all the dreams and promises you made with her. "you promised we would finish this book"

   and I did promise. But I don't know how or when, or if I'll die before I finish these promises I made with my younger self, I owe her an apology and I owe you guys an update, a reason why.

   But nobody knows what the future holds, but I'll be back, be it with another book, be it with a finish for this book. This book, if not finished, will be a time capsule. I wondered if I should make this private but remember that it's not only MY younger self but you guys' younger and present selves. Your comments that you left, it's your memory, the way you found this book, maybe organized it, maybe the way you waited for an update eagerly, or the way you read it until here and realized that maybe this book still has hope or maybe it doesn't, either way, you are right.

   If you do go searching for an old comment, be it minutes ago, be it months, or years ago, make sure to say hi to your younger self. Just like I'm writing to my younger self and you guys.  

   I've loved the memories and time we spent together, I felt loved and I hope you felt happy reading this book. I hope one day, there will be more. 

With love and a bit of sadness,

         your beloved author.  

SUMMARY:

- I cannot be the same person who started writing this book.

- I haven't read or watched MHA in a long time.

- so many plot holes? wtf?

- I'll NOT rewrite the book, for I will not erase my past self. 

- The future holds so many mysteries, I hope one day I'll be back to finish this book or write a new one.

- I don't know to whom I'm saying this, but I'm so so sorry. I love you.