Misery of Heriotza

B i l a n g XLVI

The wind blew my hair as I ride a horse. The sun above is ready to set and the cold breeze is hitting my skin.

"I thought the goddess has come to take me." I look down at Unos.

"Hello Tzatza!" Tres greeted. The three has now a sword in their waist but they aren't wearing the knight's uniform of the Simouniés.

I went down the horse.

"What brings you here?" Dos asked.

"Nothing." I said and look around. Not far from where we are, I can hear men's voice. They are probably training.

"Do you have any work for us?" Unos asked. I shook my head.

"I'm curious." Tres aaid so we all look at him. "Are you a daughter of this house?"  I didn't answer but I shook my head as response. "Then a maid-- but maids don't ride horse as they pleases. Perhaps are you a lady of this house?"

"No." I said.

"Then what are you?!" Dos yelled in frustration. I laugh with his reaction. "Please do answer with context." He added.

"This is just my home." I answered honestly. "This is where Kale lives, so this is home." I said.

"The Duke?" I nodded. "Then.. are you a lover?" My brows almost met each other.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"Lover, like someone the Duke cherish. The one he loves." Dos said.

"Love." Here comes this word again. "How can you call it love? Can you describe me what's love?" I asked.

The wind blew my dress and hair.

"Oh!" Tres raised his hand. "I know this very well!" He laugh.

We all look at him, really interested on what he's about to say.

"I was once fell inlove?"

"Woo!" The mocking cheer started. "Yieu!"

I'm so eager to know what's Tres' story about love that I didn't join their mocking cheer.

"She was a maiden with brown hair and big round eyes, Nishol." Tres' eyes sparkled.

"Nishol? The maiden accross the street?" Dos asked.

"The owner of the house we once robbed?" Unos laugh.

"I know I was inlove with her because everytine I see her smile, my heart would skip a beat. It feels like I might die any moment." Tres story tell like he's imagining it. "And everytime she's in agony I can feel my heart sinking, it feels like something is being crush, parang pinipiga." He whispered the last words.

"But she's married?" Unos asked.

"Right, that's unfair. I was there first, but she married a bastard!" Tres act like he's ready to fight someone. "But still, I learned to accept reality and root for her happiness." He said like it was a happy ending.

"And?" I asked wanting to learn more.

"That's all." Tres said with staright face.

"That's all?" He nodded like a soldier. I twitch my face, not contented with his story. "How do you know it's love?"

"Do you even know when it's love?" Dos asked.

"Right, you wouldn't even know its love even when it's right infront of you." Unos said.

"I know it was love because.." He place his hand on his chest. "My heart said so, the jumpy heart, crushed heart, running heart.. it's all in my heart." Tres said proudly.

Heart..

I placed my hand on my chest.

Human heart serves to plump blood in human body. They need heart to survive.

What about me.

There's no beating in my heart as blood is not needed.

"Can you describe love in one word?" I asked.

"Love is blissful!" Tres said immediately.

"How is it blissful when you didn't became Nishol's lover?"

"Trust me, admiring from afar is already goods para sa akin." Tres said in his proud voice.

"Then love is painful for me." Unos said.  "Tres' love isn't reciprocated, it must be painful my dear brother." The sarcasm on Unos' tone is very evident. He even tap Tres' shoulder.

We all look at Dos as he is the only who hasn't given an answer.

"L-love.." He stutter so his brothers laugh at him. "I don't know."

I nodded.

Love is blissful and painful. But I was once told that love cannot be describe in words as it is something bigger.

I tried to feel my chest again, there's really nothing but how come I can feel it tightening or even beating fast, like what Tres' had felt with his heart.

"What if I don't have a heart, how do I know it's love?" They stopped mocking Dos and look at me.

"Hmm." Tres put his hand on his chin like he's thinking hard.

"That's hard." Unos commented.

"But if you do not have a heart then how come you are alive?" Dos asked.

"Tanga. Maybe she meant that she's doesn't care about anything. Like no sympathy!" Tres yelled.

"No, literally. There's no heart beating in me as I am not a human." I said, they already know what I'm capable of, so why hide my origins?

The three nodded like they remember something. "Oh yeah!"

"Then what are you?" Unos asked.

"Kale said I'm a diwata."

"Never heard of it."

Either do I. But no matter what my origin is, I'm not curious. It's not the reason why I'm here. I was never curious about my origin, I was busy trying to get revenge on those curious pesky royal bloods and wizards.

"If you do not have a heart, why not create one?"

That talks and conclusions ended almost night time. When I went back to the mansion, I went straight to the attic.

Create a heart?

Is that possible for non human like me?

I lay in bed.

Can I fall inlove?

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