Soft Hazy Blue ( Ominis Gaunt x MC )

Chapter Thirteen: Anguish in the Color Crimson

"She was used once before...what will this cost her?" Garreth words kept running in circles in my mind.

I never wanted to resort to this or to put you in such danger with my family.

Of course, I wanted to tell you how I felt... I wanted to tell you how I felt since standing together in the dim courtyards with each other, as we argued until our voices felt hoarse.

When you turned your back to leave to become the Auror that you are today, I waited and I waited for you to turn around at least once, or to be in the undercroft to allow me to tell you that I love you.

Though the only way I could truly show you how much I cared was by untying you from me even when I tried so desperately to make you stay. Every day after I sent you a letter to the last place I heard that you were last stationed in the attempts to see you once more. It had become my ritual in the morning before going off to work or beginning my day of travel in London. It was my way of keeping the memory I had of you alive, and every time I ever received a letter, I always believed it was you...but it never was.

I tapped the tip of my shoe cap into the red-brown mahogany of the floor as I waited for Professor Weasley to cease talking to you. It sounded quite solemn and private when I had originally come by and with mid-fist up in the air in the action of knocking, Deek had apparated and pulled on my pants leg, advising that it was a private matter.

So I waited for you on the opposite side of the door, on the dark concrete bench against the coin-colored concrete wall.

I hadn't realized that I had begun falling asleep when a familiar voice cleared her throat in her attempt to stir me from the slumber I had succumbed to.

"Mr. Gaunt, I was expecting you to be here," Matilda said with a small smile etched in her voice as she spoke.

"Pardon?" I responded in a raspy voice as I stood up, trying to shake off the remaining sleep that still lingered on my eyelids.

"She has seemed quite down since the moment I saw her, she's become quite an expert at hiding her sorrow under a dazzling smile. It would be best if you went in to go to speak to her, it might allow her to reminisce of her times back at Hogwarts with a familiar face," Matilda grabbed my hand and laid her hand on top of my own as she squeezed it.

"I also wanted to thank you for accepting the temp position, I am more than ecstatic that the students will be in your capable hands."

Professor Weasley dropped my hand before heading down the corridor of tapestries. I waited till I heard her, and Deek go down the stairs before carefully entering the late Professor Figs classroom.

The presence of the room felt ... gloomy as soon as I walked through the pointed shadow-colored doors, I listened carefully to where you were but did not hear the slightest intake of breath.

I directed my wand to see the image of you outlined in crimson, where you were slumped over the carob wooden desk.

I sat down gently next to you trying to make a sound, though I guess the years working as an Auror had heightened your hearing since you turned your head towards where I sat.

"Why are you always so pensive these days," I gently said to you with a small smile tracing my face.

"Why must you always appear out of thin air," you teased back gently as you slowly sat up.

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I had originally come to discuss the proposition of the plan I had managed to formulate and allowed for us to discuss it together to gain your insight if this was the right approach to the situation.

Though here we were, entangled in each other's arms as your face was buried into the nook of my shoulder as you wrapped your arms around my frame as I nuzzled my chin on the crown of your head.

"Y/N," I softly whispered, in my poor attempt to have you crane your face to my own to ask you my question that was quickly running out of time, but how could I? When you did something that not in a million years, I expected you to do.

You grabbed my hand with such tenderness that it made my heart surge in pain, as you tugged it to cusp the side of your face. I felt the heat radiating off your soft cheek that matched the flushness of my ears as you covered my hand over your own. I timidly caressed your face... and brushed your lips...in the longing to feel them against my own.

In our 7th year, I had originally wanted to confess to you how I felt on the night after graduation.

It was the reason why I had been heated at the notion of you leaving. That was why the night before we would all leave the school into our adult lives; I had devised a plan to profess my love for you.

I had originally planned to take you down to the undercroft after graduation. I had jars of lacewings flies all around the chamber, illuminating it in an enveloping soft glow. Where red roses were sprinkled on every step you would take in all directions.

Though during our fight where you had disclosed that you were leaving, I wanted to blurt out and declare that I loved you then and there, but... you walked away, without glancing back.

Yet here you stood in front of me now, your benevolent and caressing hands enveloping my own as I brushed your delicate, indulgent lips with my textured thumb as your lips slightly parted and quivered tacitly.

You were right Garreth....

This cannot go on any longer or I will waste away in torment of not being able to confess to you properly that I am in shambles without you.

"Y/N," I whispered again faintly, as I gently leaned my head closer to where my thumb had last touched "I lo-,"

That's when Deek appeared, to retrieve Professor Weasley's 'items'.

"Deek apologizes for interrupting, but Deek was sent by Professor Weasley to retrieve something."

I sighed as you hurried to the other end of the room like you always did these recent times that we've been in one another's company.

Are you embarrassed to be near me when everyone else is around? Why do you always run in the opposite direction as if you're repulsed, revolted, appalled even to be near me?

Something inside me cracked, causing me to answer Deek in the blandest tone masking the grieving pain I felt in that moment with you.

"You're not interrupting Deek. It was an unimportant discussion we were having."

I walked over to Deek to find the item he was looking for, in an attempt to give myself the most space away from you...since my presence despised you so much for some reason.

"Good day to the both of you, Y/N and Mr. Gaunt," Deek apparated out of the old Magic Theories classroom with a book.

I cleared my throat and turned in whatever direction you were.

I'm sorry Garreth that I didn't listen to your advice... but she does not love me, and this is something I have to do.

I gave you a hard stare "Y/N... what are you doing today?"

"N-Nothing, just going back home and preparing for class tomorrow. Why?" you said with a slight tremor in your voice.

I softened my gaze...my intention was not to scare you.

I'm sorry Y/N truly.

"Come with me to The Three Broomsticks, we need to discuss something in private."

I gave a small pained smile as I walked out of the room, hearing your tiny footsteps walking behind me softly in pace.

I grazed my thumb against my own lips and pursed them in anguish... as my thumb lingered on the edge of my jaw. I slowly dropped my hand to my side and clenched my fist over my wand as we made our way to Hogsmeade.