I Wanna Be Yours | Bojan x Käärijä

Part 13

Their amorous kiss was interrupted by the knocking they heard on the door. Both Jere and Bojan quickly moved away from each other. Jere wished to ignore whoever was at the door and just continue their kiss. On the contrary, Bojan was starting to panic. It completely slipped his mind to message or call one his bandmates to tell them that he is okay.

He was frightened. He did not want people to find out like this. He wanted to prepare himself. He wanted to feel ready. But he wasn't. As Bojan looked anxiously towards the floor, Jere noticed what was going on so he gently placed his hand on Bojan's back and started caressing it.

Jere: "Don't worry, it's going to be okay...".

Bojan: "I think I know who is at the door... It's probably either Nace or Kris... maybe even all of them...".

His breathing started getting heavier and his palms started to sweat.

Jere: "You can just say that you were too tired to drive back so you slept here. They won't know what happened that way.".

Although this was not what Jere wanted, he knew that Bojan was still uncomfortable in revealing what was going on between them. Jere wished to come out about their feelings, to be able to hold hands, hug and kiss in public without any secret meetings, preoccupation about getting caught and worry about what anyone would think. He just yearned to be with Bojan, to be able to call him his.

Deep down, Bojan felt the same. He also wanted to call Jere his without being scared or feeling ashamed. He was not ashamed of Jere, but rather of him liking a man. He knew of his image, and he felt that coming out would disappoint his fans and destroy his reputation, maybe not only his but also for the rest of the band and he didn't want to ruin that, especially now that they started gaining more recognition and popularity.

Bojan quickly fixed his hair and put his shirt back on, attempting to hide all of the traces that could hint at what happened between him and Jere. In the meantime, Jere went to see who's at the door. When he opened the door, he found Nace waiting outside.

Nace: "Is Bojan here? He isn't answering his phone.".

Bojan was busy pacing around the room but the moment he noticed that Nace was by himself, he felt more comfortable. Not that he did not feel comfortable with the rest of the members of Joker Out, but that he felt more threatened by the thought that all of the members would come together to find him.

Jere: "Yes, he's here.".

Jere invited Nace inside to make him a cup of coffee. While Jere went into the kitchen, Nace went to talk to Bojan.

Nace: "Why did you not answer your phone? We were getting really worried that something might have happened to you.".

Bojan: "Oh, uhh, I just...I was just so tired last night, that I fell asleep here!"

Bojan tried so hard to not reminish the illicit moments he had with Jere but the redness of his face gave it away.

Nace: "I don't want to pry but... did something happen? You look a bit flustered.".

Bojan: "Uhh what do you mean? I just fell asleep here, nothing happened at all!"

Bojan felt uneasy and started fidgeting.

Nace: "Come on, Bojan. We're friends. You can tell me anything and I promise I won't talk about anything that you don't want others to know about."

Bojan took a long deep breath. The thoughts in his head were polar opposites. On one side, he felt like he should keep everything to himself and to play it off again by using the excuse that he was 'sooo tired that he fell asleep'. However, the other side was fighting back, making him want to divulge everything; reveal his feelings, to open up about what is happening between him and Jere.

Nace noticed how Bojan was so deep in his thoughts. He decided not to speak. He did not want to pressure Bojan but rather he wanted him to feel comfortable before opening up to him.

However, Bojan couldn't decide what to do, and Jere came back with a hot cup of coffee with milk and sugar for Nace. Jere noticed how Bojan was spaced out, completely absorbed in his internal conflict. He sat down next to him and decided that it was best if they talked about something else.

They spent a while talking about the plans that the band has, like what concerts they have and any new songs that they are writing. Jere also spoke about his own concerts and gigs.

After about 30 minutes of chatting, Nace told Bojan that they should leave as they need to start planning for another concert taking place the next day. Nace told Bojan that he was going to wait near his car so that they can go back together, as he came to Jere's house by taxi.

Nace left, leaving Jere and Bojan by themselves again.

Bojan: "I'm afraid that he suspects that something is going on... he kept asking questions...".

Jere: "I don't want make you uncomfortable but... maybe telling him would make you feel better."

Bojan: "He said he wouldn't tell anyone but... I feel like even if I just tell one person, the word would spread and everyone would find out.".

Jere sighed sadly. "I don't want us to remain a secret forever...".

Bojan took a step closer towards Jere and held both of his hands. Jere felt butterflies in his stomach as they made eye contact.

Bojan: "We're not going to hide our relationship forever. But I don't think I'm ready yet... I need to feel ready...".

Jere: "I...I understand...".

They hugged each other tightly and Bojan kissed him one last time before leaving his place.

After Bojan left, Jere hopped back on his bed. He started touching his lips, he touched his cheeks and his neck, all places where Bojan kissed him. Even though he just left, he misses him already. He feels like he can't be without him... he feels incomplete without him.

And because of this, the thought of hiding their relationship any longer only breaks his heart even more.

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*I'm so so so busy right now so I'm going to try to publish 1 or 2 chapters a week. Hope that's okay :')

*Side note: Work is going quite well. I found a summer placement job at a law firm which is great since I think I'm going to study law at uni :D

*And thank you so much for 3.5k reads!!! <3 <3 <3