I Wanna Be Yours | Bojan x Käärijä

Part 18

Bojan stood there, completely spaced out and not wanting to accept reality. Jere started to slowly caress Bojan's back, hoping that it would comfort him.

Jere: "It's going to be okay..."

But even Jere was uncertain about what was going to happen next.

Nace walked towards them.

Nace: "Maybe you should go talk to him, Bojan."

Bojan: "Talk to him? But what am I even going to say?"

Nace: "You should ask him how he feels... I don't know what else to tell you but I think it's best if you clear things up."

Bojan knew that this was the right thing to do. He has known Jan for a long time now, they even started the band together. He didn't want to lose one of his closest friends.

He took a few deep breaths and then looked towards Jere. Seeing Jere's eyes sparkle as he smiled gently at him made his heart melt. It was the push he needed to make sure to try to fix things with Jan.

Bojan left and started looking around in hopes of finding Jan. He tried asking a few people who were working backstage which he encountered while walking around but they did not know where he went. He then saw a cleaning lady and asked her. She told him that she is pretty sure that she saw him going outside and that he looked like he was in a rush.

Bojan thanked her and quickly ran outside. He was scared that he would not even find Jan there. He hoped with all his heart that Jan did not leave without a word.

He immediately calmed down a bit as he saw Jan outside, with a hood over his head. Bojan's mind was so all over the place that he did not notice how cold it got outside. He was only wearing a t-shirt but he did not really care. All he cared about was amending things with Jan.

Bojan: "Uhm... J-Jan..."

Jan did not look at him. Bojan felt so ashamed, so embarrassed that he felt like he wanted to disappear.

Bojan: "Please, say something..."

Bojan's eyes filled with tears. He tried so hard to prepare himself to be able to handle anything thrown his way but that quickly crumbled down in this moment.

He cried silently while Jan still had his back facing towards him. He did not want to lose one of his best friends. He felt like his heart could not handle it.

Jan sighed. He kept facing away from Bojan, with his arms crossed. Bojan tried to understand how Jan must be feeling too...

Then he spoke...

Jan: "I'm just so disappointed, you know...", he said quietly.

"What does that mean?", Bojan thought. Is he disappointed because of the fact that he is in a relationship with another man?

Bojan wanted to ask him but he felt like something was holding him back from speaking.

Jan: "I really thought you trusted us enough to tell us. I never thought you would hide things from us... we are always so open to each other..."

Jan looked up towards the sparkling stars in the sky. He still could not face Bojan.

Bojan: "I-...I'm sorry... I was just so scared... I still am"

Jan: "What are you scared of? What people will think? What we will think? You normally don't care about things like that."

Bojan: "But this just feels different..."

Jan finally turned to face Bojan. He had a serious look on his face, which turned into a concerned one when he saw Bojan's eyes filled with tears.

He then moved closer to Bojan and hugged him. He decided to push his feelings aside. He cared so much for Bojan, all he wanted was for him to be happy.

Jan: "Do you love him?"

Bojan was taken aback by this sudden question. Did he love Jere?

He did not know how to respond to this question.

Bojan: "I don't know what I feel..."

He never experienced true love before.

So how could he know if what he feels for Jere is love? 

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*Didn't think it would take me this long to write a chapter :')

*Thanks for reading!!! <3 <3 <3