I Wanna Be Yours | Bojan x Käärijä

Part 21

6 months later

Bojan and Jere made sure to make time for each other every day. Sometimes they only texted each other while at other times they had the chance to facetime each other too.

However, now that they both gained many more fans, things have changed. Even though they were both scared to admit it, they felt it... they were beginning to separate from each other. Their long-distance relationship was beginning to take a toll on them.

Days go by. Both of them so busy. Bojan was always working with his band, writing new song lyrics, spending many hours in the studio, going to interviews and planning concerts. Jere was busy writing new songs too and hosting many gigs.

Days go by and not a single text or phone call was exchanged between them.

They both miss each other but it feels so difficult, too difficult in fact, to make time for each other. After every busy day, they both felt too exhausted that all they want to do is sleep.

After some days, either Bojan or Jere might decide to message the other but their conversations are short... much different than the way they texted each other months ago.

After such conversations only containing a simple "How are you?" and nothing deeper than that, Jere ended his nights crying. He misses the way things were. He tried to understand that Bojan was so busy but thinking how he did not manage to make time for him anymore made him feel really bad... worthless... insignificant... like he was not someone important in Bojan's life anymore...

2 weeks later

Joker Out were planning for their next big concert in Slovenia. On the night of the concert, many fans went to see them. Bojan felt so much serotonin while being on stage. He felt like this was his place yet he could not understand why he felt like something was still missing.

That night after the concert, Bojan and the rest of the band decided to go to a club to get a few drinks and chill together.

In Finland, Jere laid in bed missing his lover... is he still his lover? He asked himself that everyday...

He knew that Joker Out had a big concert that night so he started scrolling through Instagram and Tik Tok to see photos and videos of them. He wanted to see how Bojan was doing... he wanted to know if he was okay without him...

He saw photo after photo, video after video, each time mesmerised by Bojan's beauty, how his skin shined under the stage lighting, how his eyes sparkled as he sang, how his hair looked so soft and clean, how much the outfit suited him...

But then he suddenly felt like the world around him crumbled, like his heart stopped beating and shattered as if it was a piece of glass, like his body was stuck.

"Fans spot Bojan Cvjetićanin with a beautiful and mysterious girl! Is Slovenia's hottest singer now taken?"

Jere could not believe what he was seeing. Many photos of Bojan with a girl who Jere has never seen before started appearing on his feed. Photos of Bojan drinking a glass of wine with her. Photos of Bojan dancing with her. Photos of Bojan smiling and laughing with her...

Jere wanted Bojan to do all of those things with him. He felt jealous. He had so many questions he wanted to ask. Now more than ever, he was questioning his relationship with Bojan and whether or not Bojan still considered him as his boyfriend.

He felt a mix of emotions. He was furious about the fact that Bojan did not even tell him anything. 

He kept imagining Bojan being someone else's, doing all of those things that they experienced together with someone else. All he wanted was Bojan to be his. He thought he was. He even remembered giving himself to Bojan too. 

Was it all meaningless? Has he moved on? 

Jere felt like he was drowning. His eyes became bright red and filled with tears. He started sobbing. He felt so alone. He felt that it was so unfair that Bojan could not be there with him all the time.

He put on Bojan's hoodie which he left for him. He remembered the moment very clearly as if it happened just yesterday.

*flashback*

Bojan and Jere were cuddling together on the couch. They wanted to spend as much time as possible together before Bojan had to leave.

Bojan: "I have to go back to Slovenia soon..."

Jere: "I wish you could stay here for longer."

Bojan: "Me too but I can't."

Jere: "I'm going to miss you so much."

Bojan: "Wait here. I want to give you something."

Bojan left and Jere stood there waiting for him. He was so curious about what Bojan was going to give him. After a few minutes, Bojan came back.

Bojan: "I want to give you this so that whenever you miss me you can wear it and it will be as if part of me is here with you."

Bojan gave Jere one of his favourite grey hoodies. Jere felt so happy and grateful. The hoodie even smelled like him. He felt certain that every time he will wear it he will feel safe and happy, feeling Bojan a bit closer to him.

They hugged each other after that. It was such a magical and memorable moment...

*back to the present*

But now, as Jere is wearing Bojan's hoodie, he is balling his eyes out, feeling like he will never stop crying. He felt like every purpose in his life has become meaningless. He felt like if he did not have Bojan, then he had nothing.

That night, Jere could not sleep. Even though he felt drained from all of the crying, his mind kept racing, asking himself question after question...

"Who is she? What is the meaning behind this? Are these rumours true?"

And the most important yet heartbreaking question of them all...

"Does Bojan still love me?"

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*Writing this made me so sad omg

*For some reason I cannot change my profile pic I don't know why. Does anyone have the same issue?

*Thanks for reading <3 <3 <3