I Wanna Be Yours | Bojan x Käärijä

Part 14

For Bojan, the rest of the day flew by as the band had to prepare for their next concert. He was so busy that he seemed to forget about his problems for a while.

Once him and the rest of the bandmates arrived back at the hotel, Bojan decided to take a hot shower. Instead of finding it relaxing, his head became flooded with thoughts of Jere. The touching, the hugging, the kissing. Even just remembering them made his entire body tingle as the warm water covered his body.

It was quite late once he got out so he headed straight to bed. However, sleeping seemed impossible. His head felt overcrowded with different thoughts as he laid in bed by himself. He thought of how comfortable he felt when he slept next to Jere, holding him in his arms. He felt like he couldn't sleep by himself... he needed him there with him. He wanted to hug him, hold his hand, kiss him... even just looking at him would help him sleep.

1 hour later

It was now 1am and he still hasn't managed to fall asleep. "Maybe I should get up for a bit... maybe that will help.", he thought.

Before going out on the balcony, he put a sweater on as it was chilly outside. He looked outside towards the quite and empty city streets. A small breeze hit his face. He felt so lost. He didn't know what to do. He felt like he was by himself and that no one could help him and that even if he talked about it, no one would understand. He didn't want to be judged.

After a while, he heard the door of the balcony open gently.

It was Nace.

Nace: "You can't sleep too?"

Bojan: "Yeah, something like that."

Nace: "Bojan... I'm worried about you. I've never seen you like this."

Bojan: "Like what?"

Nace: "Like you're constantly in your head. It's like you want to say something but you can't."

Bojan took a deep breath, "I just don't think that anyone would understand..."

Nace: "You can't be certain unless you try."

Bojan started fidgeting again, just like he did when he was talking to Nace at Jere's apartment.

Bojan: "I-I... I think I-..."

Bojan almost felt like he was suffocating. All of the conflicting emotions that he was feeling started bubbling up and he could no longer keep it to himself.

Bojan: "I think... I think I like Jere..."

Nace: "Like as a friend?"

Bojan: "No..."

Bojan started blushing. Even though it was dark outside, Nace could still notice it.

Nace: "Did something happen between you two?"

Bojan looked around to make sure that no one else was there, eavesdropping on their conversation.

Bojan: "Yes... we kissed... and more than that...".

Nace: "How long has this been going on for?"

Bojan: "Ever since Eurovision."

Nace felt sorry for Bojan. He felt guilty that he was completely oblivious to what was going on between Bojan and Jere. He could have been there for him and he wouldn't have felt the need to keep all of this to himself for so long.

Nace hugged Bojan tightly. "You could have told me... you shouldn't have felt the need to keep all of this to yourself."

A tear escaped Bojan's eyes. "I'm sorry, I was just so confused. I still am. I don't know what to do.".