---
Dear Ashley
As I write this letter my heart is heavy with sadness and regret. I never thought that the day would come where I had to say goodbye to you, but here we are. You have been the light in my life since the day we met. I never wanted us to happen because I knew you where a special girl. You where different from others. You cared, you showed love even though you knew who you were loving. But loving someone who's broken in pieces isn't always easy. Ashley I couldn't get enough of you, you were my first love, my first everything, I finally felt love in a way I never felt before. Trust me when I say that I sometimes could feel it, the invisible thread that tied my heart to yours. The pull, the drag. Deep inside beneath my skin, the heavy gravity of you.
And I want to tell you that the movies are fake, the guy doesn't always get the girl and the girl can't always heal the broken guy. There isn't always a happy ending to all of the love stories. I wanted to give you what you needed, I tried to be better for you. I wanted to I've you your own happy ending. But I'm broken. You deserve more than me.
I want you to know that I don't think I'll ever know how to love somebody else the way I love you, you are the last person I ever want to love like this and I promise you that I will hold onto you until my hands are bruised by the earth. But I'll keep loving and holding onto you from distance. I can't give you the love you are supposed to be given. I wanted to keep you safe but I realised that the only instability in your life was me. You will have your happy ending, I promise you that your happy ending will come, but it won't come with me.
I love you and I will always love you.
/Jax Martinéz
---
I looked up from the letter for the tenth time and wiped my tears away. Paul and dad sat next to my hospital bed trying to comfort me. "He didn't deserve you Ashley, he does this to all his girls" Paul mumbled and looked down at me. "It felt different Paul, we weren't like the other girls he had a thing for" I said but I somehow knew I was lying. Maybe I was like his other girls. Maybe I was a fool to fall for his love.
I looked up at dad, "I want to go home now" I said quietly and he nodded and grabbed my hand. "We are waiting for the nurse, she will be here any second" and like he said the door opened and a nurse stepped in. "You have been waiting enough for now, the doctors have decided that you are ready to leave. The doctors have told you and your father the instructions how to deal with the pain, we have booked you in for another appointment to check your back in a few weeks, is everything clear?" She asked and both me and dad nodded.
~~~
Paul opened the car door for me and I sat down in the front seat next to dad. "It's your birthday in two days Ashley. What do you want to do?" Dad asked and started the car. "Nothing..." I said and tilted my head against the car window. "We need to celebrate it somehow" dad said. "Maybe with your friends?" I shook my head and dad looked at me. "Everything is complicated now, dad"
"Look there's something I need to tell you" dad said and I could see in the mirror that Paul straighten himself up preparing himself for what dad has to tell me. "Me and your mom has decided to give our family a second chance, she have gotten clean now and we want things to work out" he said and I looked at him in chock. "What?" I asked and I looked at Paul. "I already knew" he said and I raised my eyebrows. "So you just out of nowhere decides that you want to forgive her and let her move in again?" I asked completely surprised about the change of subject.
"Paul?" I looked at him asking what he thought about all of this. "You know I wanted mom to come back to us" he said and I tilted my head back against the window. "Our family is fucked, I can't understand how you forgive her after all she did" i murmured and I could see the pain in dads eyes. "Ashley... I hated your mother for what she did to us, but I never stopped loving her, she's the mother of my children and I'll always somehow love her" the car ride was silent after what dad said, no one had anything to say.
But what dad said maid me think about Jax. Even to be hurtled me, even after all the things he done I never stopped loving him, yes... i love him, I was in love with him and I still am... but now he's gone, I really wish we could somehow work out but Jax won't give us a second chance. He's scared of me loving a broken guy, but what he don't understand is that I am too... and right now it feels like he's the only one who could possibly heal me.
***
A//n
New chapter! Hope you all liked it. I'll try to update next chapter as soon as possible.
Love you all and thanks for making my book reach 113k!!! That's amazing!
xXdaiisyyXx
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Romance"Did you see anything over there. Did you see what that group of people was doing!?" He said. I didn't answer. He lifted one of his hands to my throat and grabbed my chin with the other. I looked with fear into his dark green mysterious eyes. "Did...
