"Happy birthday Ashley!" Emma yelled when I opened the front door for her. "Thank you" I mumbled and she smiled. "So how was your day so far?" She asked. "Pretty good, dad and mom are at the hotel, they celebrated me this morning" I said and Emma followed me inside. "What did you get?" She asked and I nodded my head to the kitchen table. "What?! You got a car? Oh my god?!" She said and ran up to my carkeys on the table. "Yeah, dad finally agreed to buying me a car, I'm surprised you didn't see it on the driveway" I said and Emma turned to me.
"I have something for you!" She said and handed me a card. I looked at her. "You didn't have to give me anything" I said but Emma raised her hand. "Sush, open it"
I opened the card and looked down at the card, 'Exclusive trip to Atlanta'. I looked up at her. "Wow it's far away..." I said and Emma nodded. "I know you would rather maybe stay In your room all day but I do really think you need to get out of here, even if its just a day or two and of course I'll come with you" She said and smiled proudly. I couldn't help but smile back at her. She's right, I would stay in my room everyday if she didn't give me this. I hugged her. "Thank you..." I mumbled and she hugged me tighter. "I'll help you get on other thoughts than him" She answered back. "But first... We need to get fixed and fix in here" She said and looked around. "When is everyone coming?" I asked. "At 7 PM so we have almost three hours"
°°°
Paul looked at me from top to toe, "you look pretty" He said and I smiled. "But please Ashley don't get wasted tonight... or you know what? Do what ever you want I'll keep an eye on you" He said and I laughed. "Okay okay" I answered and looked around at all of the people who already came. "How many did you invite?" I asked Emma and she shook her head. " I don't know we will see" She said and I turned up the music.
The clock was only 7.30 PM and people where constantly walking in trough the front door. I looked around. But I didn't find the face I was searching for. "He's not here" I mumbled for myself and grabbed a bottle of whisky and poured it up in a mug. I need to forget about him, and there's only one way to do that. I took the first big sip for tonight. Nothing can hurt me more than he did.
°°°
10 PM
"Ashley?!" Emma yelled and dragged me away from all the dancing people. "Here drink water!" She said and handed me a cup of water. "Slow down with the drinking" She said and I shook my head. "You should speed up with the drinking!" I yelled back and Emma rolled her eyes. "Your maybe right... Im to tense" She mumbled. "Only one way to solve that!" I said and gave her a cup with 'who knows what?'. "Come on Emma, we have beer cans!" I said and dragged her towards the beer cans in the corner of my living room.
11 PM
"HEY EVERYONE! LET'S RAISE A FUCKING TOAST FOR MY SISTER ASHLEY ROBERTS!" Paul yelled and everyone cheered with him. I smiled big. And then I felt someone grab my arm. I looked up.. Ian. "Oh wait that's a familiar face" I said and pointed my finger at him, he pushed my hand away and starred at me. "Where is he?" Ian asked and I looked at him. "Who? Paul? Over there" I said and pointed at the direction where Paul where standing. "No, you know who...!" He yelled over the music. "Oh Jax? He's gone" I said and turned around leaving Ian alone in the crowd. Oh no no no I had forgotten about him, fucking Ian. Jax is appearing in my mind again! "I need more to drink" I mumbled to myself and walked towards a whisky bottle on the table. "Uh uh you're not drinking more" Paul said and looked at me. I rolled my eyes. "Come on... I'm fine" I said and held on to the wall trying to stand straight.
Paul shook his head and I turned around facing the crowd of dancing people again. I need something that can erase Jax from my mind. "Hey Ashley!" A guy I talked to one time before in my math class yelled. Found my target...
MIDNIGHT
His hand was trailing up in my skirt and I pulled him closer. He was leaving kisses along my neck down to my collar bones. I opened my eyes and saw that Ian was staring at us. He shook his head. I grabbed the guy by his collar and kissed him on the lips, making sure Ian saw it. The guy pulled me into Pauls room and kept kissing me. It did feel good, but something was missing.
He pushed me down at Pauls bed and unzipped his pants. I kicked off my heals and the guy climbed up over me starting to kiss me again. "Wait wait wait" I said when the bedroom door opened. Ian and Paul looked at us. "Get off her!" Paul said and the guy zipped his pants and stood up. "Im sorry Paul, I thought she was free" He said and stepped outside. I pulled down my skirt and stood up, I left Ian and Paul in the bedroom. "Why are they fucking things up for me?!" I said and grabbed a already full cup from the living room. I drank the whole cup and grabbed another one. "Ashley!?" Paul yelled and I turned around to walk out from the house. I need some fresh air.
"Leave me alone!" I yelled at Ian and Paul and walked out to the garden, I sat down in the damp cold grass and looked down down at my hands. I was holding a bottle of Vodka in my left hand. I do not remember grabbing it on my way out but here I am. Alone in the grass with a half full vodka bottle in my hand. I took a sip. "Ugh disgusting" I mumbled but took another sip.
I felt how someone sat down next to me "Paul, go away" I said and turned around. "Ian..." I said and sighed. "What do you want?" I asked and he gave me a small smile. "Hi to you too" He said and I looked up from the grass. I took one more sip from the bottle. "Can you please stop that?" He asked. "Stop what?" I asked back and took even one more sip from the bottle. He took it from my hand and poured it out on the grass. "Yeah great kill my fathers grass" Ian laughed, since when do you care about your fathers front yard?" He asked and I looked at him. "Since now" I answered back. And Ian looked at me. I wish I could read his thoughts because I really would like to know what is going on in his head.
"Ashley what's going on? What the fuck are you doing" He asked and I looked down at the grass again. "What?"
"Look at you! I know Jax fucked up, I know he have done tons of fucking shit, he have put you thought hell, but I know you're stronger than this. I take a look at yourself! We don't have to talk about that your makeup is messed up and that your hair is looking like you went trough the 2WW, but since when do you drink this much? Since when do you just pick a guy like that to get laid?" Ian said and I looked up at him with tears in my eyes.
"Ian you don't understand he fucking broke me! I have never felt like this before! And I hate him for making me feel like this, I hate him for making me go though all this fucking shit just because his a coward who can't face his problems that he created" I said and wiped my tears away. Ian just looked at me.
"I hate that I still love him! I hate that he made me love him! Because now I'm here, alone and I desperately need him back Ian! I need him, I fucking love him!" I cried and Ian laid his arm around my shoulder.
"I have known Jax for a very long time Ashley... And I know that this was one of the hardest decisions he ever had make. But look at it from his perspective... He left because he wanted the best for you... But you're right he was a coward for running away from his problems, but would you have stayed with him if he didn't leave? Tell me the truth Ashley..." Ian said and I closed my eyes. Im feeling dizzy. But would I have stayed with him if he never left?
"I don't know Ian... But what I do know is that I would have still loved him. I do still love him and I want him back..."
"So, Yes? You want him back right? Isn't that enough for giving him a second chance? Im not saying this because Jax is one of my closest friends, I'm saying this because I do think you both need each other"
"Yes I need him" I mumbled and opened my eyes again. Ian's arm was the only think holding me up right now. "So what are you waiting for? Try to find him? He can't be gone... Plus you're a girl... You are good at those instagram and social media stalking stuff, you will find him trust me"
"Yeah I guess I will" I mumbled and Ian looked at me. "You don't look so good..." He said and I tiled my head forward. "No I'm not feeling goo-" I didn't get the chance to end the sentence before I threw up.
"Mhm nice look who's killing the grass... and on my shoes ew Ashley gross..." Ian said and stood up.
***
YOU ARE READING
Always
Romance"Did you see anything over there. Did you see what that group of people was doing!?" He said. I didn't answer. He lifted one of his hands to my throat and grabbed my chin with the other. I looked with fear into his dark green mysterious eyes. "Did...
