A Lifetime Connection

Dearest Mommy

Dearest Mommy,

I hope this letter finds you in good health and surrounded by the love and support of our family and friends. This letter is an outlet for the emotions that have built up inside me, and though it may be difficult to read, it is my truth, my voice, and my attempt at closure.

I know that you know that anger has consumed me for so long when you left me. It is an unforgettable experience that will remain in my system. I cannot help but feel a profound sense of betrayal and abandonment.

The scars you left run deep. I carry the weight of your absence in every aspect of my life. It's in the milestones you missed, the events you weren't there for, and the void that remains when I crave a mother's love. I have grown up questioning my worth, wondering why you didn't want to be a part of my life, and struggling to fill the void you left behind.

Anger has consumed me for so long, fueling my resentment towards you. How could you willingly choose to walk away from your own flesh and blood? How could you not see the pain and confusion your absence would cause? These questions haunt me, even in my sleep.

But there is also despair mixed in with the rage. I grieve the odds of affection, bonding, and mother-daughter closeness that existed between us. I feel sorrow for the times we will never spend together, the joy we will never know, and the memories we will never make.

I now understand that you were hurt too. You didn't want to leave me, I know that. I understand that you were a victim, and it wasn't just me who got completely ruined. I could never imagine how you were doing those days when you were suffering without me, and I will never know how scared you were for yourself and for me, your daughter.

You gave me the best gift when you came back, you being safe and alive. That was all I wanted, but you gave me more than that. You gave me Vico, the brother that I always longed for. I am thankful for you about him, you gave me a reason to live when  I met him.

I want you to know that despite the anger and hurt, I am learning to heal. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I am learning to forgive you.

It's tough for me to put into words how deeply delighted I am of you, mom. All of my life, you have been my beacon of hope, my solid foundation, and my closest friend. Even in the midst of life's difficulties, you have consistently showed me your love, kindness, and strength. Your unwavering encouragement and faith in me have served as a constant source of motivation.

But now, Mom, I'm at a crossroads and I've decided something you might find difficult to comprehend. In order to free myself from the suffering and tribulations that have been weighing me down for far too long, I have decided to depart this celestial body. Please understand that this choice was not taken lightly and has nothing to do with our connection or our fondness for one another.

I want you to keep in mind the times we had together, the smiles, the sobs, and the numerous memories we made. Those priceless moments will remain indelible in my memory. Because love is a force that exists outside of time and space, I want you to hang onto the love we shared.

Please don't take the blame for what I'm going to do, Mom. Because of you, I have the best life imaginable, and I am thankful for each and every day we have had together. I want you to take comfort in the knowledge that I am choosing to let go of the agony that has devoured me and to live in peace. My choice is simply a means for me to find peace; it has nothing to do with how good of a mother you are.

Please understand that my decision to bid farewell to this world is not a reflection of any shortcomings on your part. You have been the epitome of love, compassion, and selflessness, and your role as my mother has been nothing short of extraordinary. This decision is one born out of my own pain and weariness, a longing for release from the burdens that have weighed me down.

Tears rush down my face as I gather my thoughts to compose this parting letter, and my heart is heavy with the realization that our time together is coming to an end. Please understand that I have written them from the very bottom of my heart, filled with love, appreciation, and a bittersweet acceptance of what is to come.

As my time in this world draws to a close, I want to say how incredibly grateful I am that you were my mother. Your love has always been there for me, giving me courage when I was weak and comfort when I was down. I will always be grateful to you for comforting me through life's difficulties with your gentle touch and reassuring words.

I want you to cherish the memories we have shared as I go out on this last journey. Remember the happy occasions that made us laugh our hearts out, the gentle hugs that expressed an unfathomable love, and the innumerable lessons you taught me that helped to mold my character. Keep in mind these moments since they will keep us connected in spirit forever.

Dear Mommy, I beg you to take comfort in the knowledge that I am content. Even if I may no longer be physically present in your life, my love for you will survive and outlive both life and death. Find me in the splendor of nature, the sparkling stars that fill the night sky, and the soft breeze that caresses your cheek. I'll always be at your side, keeping an eye on you, protecting you, and loving you.

Allow yourself to grieve in the days that follow my passing; it is a normal and essential step in the recovery process. Accept the anguish that ishes over you in waves of pain, tears, and tears. But keep in mind, dear Mommy, that suffering need not obscure life's beauty. Embrace the laughter that floats through the air, and find comfort in the priceless moments that each day delivers. Reopen your heart to joy.

My spirit has been nourished by your love, my perspective has been formed by your wisdom, and my dreams have been made possible by your unshakable faith in me. I will always be grateful for the time we spent together, and as I venture into the wide unknown, I carry your love with me.

Goodbye, my lovely Mom. May you find comfort, courage, and peace in your heart, soul, and spirit. Be aware that our relationship goes beyond the material world, and I will always love you.

Take care of yourself, Vico, Tito Kyd, Mama, Papa, Momita, Tito-Dad, Tita-Mama. Please do take care of Daddy for me, I will always be your lifetime connection. Vidal needed me too soon, he needs an older sister now.

I have forgiven you, Mommy. I love you with all my heart.

With all my love and forgiveness,

your dearest darling daughter, Vida Georgina.