Story of Destruction and Chaos

Chapter 8

(Its 04:59 so im sorry if my sleep deprived brain isnt working too smoothly.)

<DESTRUCTION'S POV>

I wanted to scream in frustration as I leaned back into the couch, a smile plastered on my face. Did I care about Hermes? Of course. Was he one of my favorite Olympians? Without a doubt. Did I love him?

That was the question.

We had kissed, we had both enjoyed the kiss, but did I have any feelings for him?

Did I?

If I thought about it?

...

...

...

Maybe.

My emotions were too blurred together to make sense.

"Chaos," I began, looking into my girlfriend's eyes.

She looked at me with concern and nodded.

"I, uhm, I was with Hermes, a few minutes ago, and, uhm..." I trailed off, nervous and anxious as fuck.

Chaos looked worried and put her hand on top of mine. I loved her. I have since over a thousand years ago, and I still did, that was for sure.

"Struct?" She asked softly.

"He and I were talking, and, uhm, we- we might've, uhm, kissed," I stuttered out with a wince.

Chaos' eyes widened before she schooled her expression to a neutral one.

"Do you love him?" She asked quietly.

"I-I don't know," I replied anxiously.

Chaos looked hurt but nodded.

"Do you love me?" She asked nearly inaudibly.

"Yes. Absolutely, I have for over a thousand years and I still do, Chay," I answered quickly.

Chaos bit her lip.

"Look, I-I'm sorry, I don't know what happened, seriously, I'm so sorry," I said panickedly.

"Struct, Struct, it's okay, take a few deep breaths," Chaos told me calmly, squeezing my hand.

I tried to take deep breaths, but my breathing was too quick, and shallow to cooperate.

"Shh, Struct, it's okay, you're okay, I'm okay, everything's okay, just take a deep breath," Chaos instructed.

I gave a small nod and took deep breaths, slowly getting more aware of my surroundings. I smiled weakly at Chaos.

"Good. Now, what do you have to do right now? I'll take care of it," she explained with a smile.

"Hermes is waiting for me, I have to talk to him," I told her with a wince.

To be honest, I just wanted to scream-cry right now, and cut, but it was both too pathetic and impossible to do at the moment.

"I'll tell him that you want to talk to him later, okay?" Chaos asked.

I nodded and smiled.

"Now, you should go up to your room and relax a little bit while you're away from Earth," Chaos told me.

"Oh, thank you so much, Chay," I murmured breathlessly, going up the stairs as she flashed out to find Hermes.

I opened the door to my room and my heart melted when I saw some of my clothes on my chair and random parts of my wardrobe, meaning that Chaos had worn my clothes while I was away.

I smiled and plopped down on my bed, summoning some ambrosia to eat for my starving self.

After finishing it, I tried to ignore the tingly feeling of my arms. My head was foggy and full of different, random thoughts. Eventually, I began subconsciously scratching my arm. I didn't notice what I was doing until I felt warm ichor dribble down my arm.

I looked down to see the scabbed over areas completely peeled off and bleeding. Caught up in it all, I continued scratching and summoned a blade, making new cuts along with the reopened cuts.

The door opened and I looked up to see Chaos, who froze a bit before sighing sadly and shooting me a smile.

"We need to find an alternative for you," Chaos murmured, summoning bandages.

I nodded, my anxiety making me unable to talk. Chaos immediately picked up on that and gave me a small nod.

"So, I talked with Hermes," Chaos began.

"He was pretty nice about the entire situation. He also told me some of the things that you said about me," Chaos said with no bitterness.

"I'm glad that I've heard that stuff, Struct, because I want to be a perfect girlfriend, and I can't do that if you don't tell me my flaws or when I'm in the wrong," Chaos told me with a small smile.

I nodded, not able to say anything. As she was talking, Chaos had finished wrapping the cuts.

"How're you?" She asked me.

Since I couldn't answer, I grabbed a pen and my notebook and began writing.

'I'm just tired. Exhausted. I want a break, I don't want to continue like this. I'm so frustrated about Hermes and the entire situation about my first time on Earth, and I just want to be weak but I know that I can't afford that right now.'

"Oh, Struct," Chaos muttered sadly.

"It's not a weakness to cry. Cry all you need, because it will make you feel better, and it will make you stronger," Chaos whispered.

Tears stung my eyes and I let them fall. Soon, I was sobbing harshly, Chaos' arms wrapped around me as I cried.

We lied down on my bed, and we cuddled as I slowly cried myself to sleep, drifting off to an hour of everything but peace and rest.