22) HIGH INQUIZITOR!

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Ron and Hermione have started to become extremely worried for Harry. They've noticed the bags under his dead eyes, the way he's been fading in and out of his reality, how malnourished he's become, and even though he casts silencing charms, they know he screams in his sleep. His mental health is slowly diminishing. It doesn't help that he never tells them anything anymore. He's grown distant. When he's in the room, he's not there. And the constant remarks on his delusion don't help either.

Hermione lets out a loud gasp and flattens a copy of The Daily Profit down on the table to reveal a large photograph of Delores Umbridge, smiling widely beneath the Headline:

MINISTRY SEEKS EDUCATIONAL REFORM
DELORES UMBRIDGE APPOINTED FIRST-EVER "HIGH INQUISITOR"

"High Inquisitor?" Asks Harry darkly, "What does that mean?"

Hermione reads aloud:
"In a surprise move last night, the Ministry of Magic passed new legislation, giving itself an unprecedented level of control at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
" 'The Minister has been growing uneasy about the goings-on at Hogwarts for some time,' said Junior Assistant to the Minister, Percy Weasley, 'He is now responding to concerns voiced by anxious parents, who feel the school may be moving in a direction they do not approve.'
"This is not the first time in recent weeks Fudge has used new laws to effect improvements at the Wizarding school. As recently as August 30th Educational Decree Twenty-two was passed, to ensure that, in the event of the current Headmaster being unable to provide a candidate for a teaching post, the Ministry should select an appropriate person.
" 'That's how Delores Umbridge came to be appointed to the teaching staff at Hogwarts,' said Weasley last night, 'Dumbledore couldn't find anyone, so the Minister put in Umbridge and of course, she's been an immediate success-"

"She's been a WHAT?" Interrupts Harry loudly. He can feel the blood heating up in his veins at the words. A teacher who tortures students is not "an immediate success."

"Wait, there's more," Says Hermione grimly, " '-an immediate success, totally revolutionizing the teaching of Defense Against the Dark Arts and providing the Minister with on-the-ground feedback about what's happening at Hogwarts.'
"It is this last function that the Ministry has now formalized with the passing of Educational Decree Twenty-three, which creates the new position of 'Hogwarts High Inquisitor.'
" 'This is an exciting new phase in the Minister's plan to get to grips with what some are calling the "falling standards" at Hogwarts,' Said Weasley, 'The Inquisitor will have powers to inspect her fellow educators and make sure that they are coming up to scratch. Professor Umbridge has been offered this position in addition to her teaching post, and we are delighted to say that she has accepted.'
"The Ministry's new moves have received enthusiastic support from parents of students at Hogwarts.
" 'I feel much easier in my mind now that I know that Dumbledore is being subjected to fair and objective evaluation,' said Mr. Lucius Malfoy, 41, speaking from his Wiltshire mansion last night. 'Many of us with our children's best interests at heart have been concerned about some of Dumbledore's eccentric decisions in the last few years and will be glad to know that the Ministry is keeping an eye on the situation.'

Harry scoffs at what Lucius had said about having his child's best interest at heart, knowing full well that Lucius is an abusive dick-head.

Hermione continues reading, despite trying hard not to snort at Lucius' utter bullshit,
"Among those 'eccentric decisions' are undoubtedly the controversial staff appointments previously described in this newspaper, which have included the hiring of werewolf Remus Lupin, half-giant Rubeus Hagrid, and delusional ex-Auror 'Mad-Eye' Moody.
"Rumors abound, of course, that Albus Dumbledore, once Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, is no longer up to the task of managing the prestigious school of Hogwarts.
" 'I think the appointment of the Inquisitor is a first step toward ensuring that Hogwarts has a Headmaster in whom we can all repose confidence,' said a Ministry insider last night.
"Wizengamot elders Griselda Marchbanks and Tiberius Ogden have resigned in protest at the introduction of the post of Inquisitor to Hogwarts.
" 'Hogwarts is a school, not an outpost of Cornelius Fudge's office,' said Madam Marchbanks. 'This is a further disgusting attempt to discredit Albus Dumbledore.' (For a full account of Madam Marchbanks' alleged links to subversive goblin groups, turn to page 17)."

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