Chapter Five ⁜ Black Heart

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Kim's fingers are itching to reach out, to hold Chay's face, and kiss him senseless

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Kim's fingers are itching to reach out, to hold Chay's face, and kiss him senseless. If Chay thinks that he can just say this and not immediately act upon it, then he is wrong and cruel.

Slowly, he reaches out, fingers brushing over the back of Chay's head down to the neck until they stop at the crook between neck and shoulder. Chay's skin is so hot and tender, so responsive to Kim's touch as the goosebumps spread under his fingertips. It makes Kim dizzy, thinking about how Chay's body would feel under his lips—how hot and tender. How sweet.

Chay doesn't flinch. Doesn't move away. And his lips look so tempting, so inviting. And Kim doesn't even really know why he didn't cross this small space between them already. But there's this voice at the back of his mind telling him that he can't fuck this up. It's like he is afraid that Chay would disappear, which is a fucking nonsense because Kimhan Theerapanyakul is never afraid! At least he wasn't—not until he met this boy.

He figures that he has to react somehow to Chay's words, but he can't keep his eyes off Chay's lips, so he doesn't even look up when he teasingly says, "I'd say I'm more than a good kisser—no complains before, sweetheart." Because it's better to tease. To pretend that this boy isn't holding Kim's life in his hands and can do anything he wants with it. Right now Kim thinks how different everything would be if he decided to stay at home and take a walk around the city some other day. He doesn't like that thought—it feels like a nightmare.

"People before me weren't threatened by the idea of spending the rest of their lives with you... boss," Chay nonchalantly replies.

It's either the slight smirk that is playing on those perfect lips, or the way Chay says boss, but whatever it is, it pushes Kim over the edge. The quiet gasp Chay lets out tickles Kim's lips as he crashes their mouths together. His fingers are wrapped around Chay's chin, holding him in place, while Kim feels the ecstasy flowing through his veins. His lips are burning, melting into Chay's. Kim feels the pressure of Chay's lips—he is kissing Kim back, and his fingers are travelling up Kim's chest until they reach Kim's neck. They stay there, just resting, a thumb brushing absentmindedly over Kim's Adam's apple. And Kim feels like he wants to disintegrate into the smallest particles in the air and rest in Chay's hair, on his clothes, and skin and everywhere around him because why would he want to be anywhere else ever again?

Chay's lips taste like sunshine and gold and when a person tastes them long enough they taste like summer rain, at it's all so sweet and soft... and then Chay puls away.

They are still close, trying to catch their breath and Chay's fingers are still on Kim's neck, and Kim's fingers moved to rest in Chay's hair. And Kim wants more, but he doesn't have to say it because Chay is the one who is already pulling him closer again, and pressing their lips together again. It's soft like a touch of butterfly wings and doesn't last anywhere near how long Kim wishes it to last—and once Chay pulls away and his fingers are no longer touching Kim's skin it feels like part of Kim is missing. Kim was obsessed before. He was in—what he thought at that time was love—before, but this feels different. The intensity of this feeling is beyond anything he felt before. He is breathing fast, letting it settle in his heart. He waits quietly for Chay to speak up, not knowing what to say himself because his mind is both entirely empty and full of Chay's existence.

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