If you're done it doesn't mean I'm done too(Steve Rogers/Captain America fanfic)

Chapter 58

Sarah's p.o.v.

The air was thick and stuffy. Walls, floor and ceiling were from concrete. My steps and breathing echoed. There were plain light bulbs in the ceiling for how far I could see in both directions. Actually the corridors were light. I just went straight, not turning in the many partings, but stopping and looking there how far I could see. Beads of sweat rolled down my face and I felt my shirt soaking wet with it. I was getting more and more nervous with every step. Panick was rising in my chest, adding more pressure on my chest, making breathing more difficult as it already was.
Something dropped on my face and I brushed it off. I looked at my fingers and they were red. Immediately I looked up at the ceiling, but there was nothing. A metalic smell filled my nose and now I was standing in the middle of room. There were no windows or door. I couldn't form a word. My breathing got faster and heavier as well as my heartbeat. It was hot there and the smell I distinguished as blood, made me want to throw up.
"You could have saved me," someone whispered in my ear.
Frightened, I spun around but nobody was there.
"John?" I managed to say.
Small streams of red and thick liquid started to stream down the walls and gather on the floor and gradually getting stronger.
"You could have saved me," he repeated but more clearly this time.
I spun around again and let out a scream. In front of me was standing John. His throat was sliced and blood was flowing out, soaking in his clothes. I covered my mouth with my hands. Tears were flowing down my cheeks and I took a step back. But I collided with a body. Instinctively I spun around and there he was standing again.
"You could have saved me," he said again, but this time it sounded like many people had said in the same time.
I could barely breathe. I wanted to throw up. My head was pulsing and slightly spinning. I looked back and there were standing six 'John's'.
"No," I uttered shaking my head and going backwards.
The floor was covered in blood and the walls were blood red too. Light bulb's light was fading. All the figures were slowly coming towards me, with their eyes piercing in my soul.
"What do you want from me?" I yelled and my back collided with the wall.
I was cornered and they were only getting closer and the light in the room was getting red.
"You let me die," one said.
"You're selfish," other said.
"You betrayed me. You traded me in for money and you call me selfish?" I yelled back.
"I loved you," another figure said.
"You were my world."
"I did this for us."
"And then you killed me."
"But you know that you could have saved me."
"I know. I know. Just leave me alone. I can't take it anymore. I can't," I sunk in the corner sobbing.
My clothes soaked with the blood and my hair as well. It felt like the liquid is trying to seep into my body. I was crying but they kept telling me things, inching closer and closer. The room was already red and their hands were reaching for me. They grabbed my shoulders and shook me. I tried to shove their arms away but I couldn't - they were too strong.
"C'mon! Wake up!" someone yelled.
I bolted up in a sitting position with my eyes wide and laboured breath.
"Oh, God! You scared me so much," a pair of strong arms wrapped around me.
I covered my face with my hands and cried. I was so scared and I could barely breathe. My shirt was soaked with sweat and now I was getting cold.
"It was just a dream. I'm here and nobody is going to hurt you. Lets change your shirt, okay?" Steve had buried his face in the crook of my neck and was drawing circles on my back.
I nodded and wipped my tear stained cheeks. I was still shocked of that nightmare because everything seemed so real. Steve's grip around me tightened and I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled my face in his shoulder.
"Maybe I should make a bath?" he said, barely audible.
"Shower will be okay," I snuggled closer to him to get more warmth.
"I'll cook dinner meanwhile," Steve lifted up his head.
"You don't have to," I shook my head.
"You can never say 'no' to mac&cheese," by his voice I could tell he was smiling.
"Well, that'a true," I chuckled and lifted up my head as well, and looked in his eyes - they were red and puffy.
I looked down and saw scratches on his arms and chest. I unwrapped his arms from me and got out of the bed before he caught me. I hated myself for hurting Steve.
"Hey, what's wrong?" he moved to edge of bed and sat facing me but I turned my back to him.
I couldn't look at him. It was breaking my heart seeing how much I hurt him.
"I think we should stay away from each other for a while," I said.
Tears started to flow again and I wrapped my arms around my torso to get some warmth.
"What? Wait, what do you mean?" Steve stood up.
"I can't do this anymore. I'm only hurting you all the time. I love you. I really do. And all I ask right now, is to give me time to get my shit together. I really don't want to hurt you," I had turned back to him and tried not to cry but I couldn't stop my tears. Each word I said was like stab but I had to do this.
"I love you and I want to help you. I hate seeing you like this," his eyes were full of tears and voice quivering.
"Steve please. Just go," I choked out, looking everywhere but not at him.
He quickly got dressed and was about to leave when Steve stopped and turned to me.
"You know, you are hurting me right now. Very much," he whispered, with tears rolling down his cheeks, and left.
After the door was shut, I sank on the floor and curled in a ball and I finally let everything out. I was still cold, I felt like I was stabbed in my heart but I just let Steve hurt more. I really need to get my shit together and as soon as possible if I don't want to another person in my life.

-----------------A/N-----------------

Didn't expect that? Well, me neither. How? I changed my plans. Not completely, but still.
THANK YOU ALL MY RAYS OF SUNSHINE!!! I have got 1.03k votes, 25.3k reads, plenty of amazing comments, 31 follower and a lot of you have added this story to your reading lists. You may think I thank too much, but I can't express how grateful I am. This all really means world to me.
I love you all,
Undi ❤